I would think getting to know someone and talking to them would make that clear, as well as whether the two of you were compatible and interested in each other in general. If not perhaps you will need to ask questions if it's something that is important to you.

^ yeah, you won't be able to tell from surface chit chat. You have to bother to get to know them. And sometimes I've seen butch friends read what they want to hear into their answers. Or sometimes out of insecurity and fear not hear the clear statements.

But that happens with regular already out of the closet people trying to have a conversation *shrug.*
I don't know how many times I've had this conversation:

"I like you'
"I don't think I'm butch enough for you!"
"I think you are hot"
"I mean I don't think I'm quite butch enough... I don't wear lipstick or anything but like I don't drive a truck and I blah blah blah blah"
"I think you are very sexy"
"but what do you consider butch."
*pulls my own eyes out and chokes them with them with the chords*

I stopped doing that. I have now started saying

"I like you"
"yeah but am I butch enough?"
"If by that you mean 'is my cock big enough' the answer is 'NEVER' HAHAHAHA. But you know this already. any other questions?"

that usually stops it.

Just try.

I wonder if we took " straight"' out of its quotes and see what happens.

spaghetti is straight, till you boil it.

I am 53year old skinny short 5ft3 tall wrinkled face thin lips green eyes grayhaired soft butch single woman. People call me ugly alot of the times, and also make jokes about my looks. Ever since I was 14 people always call me names. Since childhood I have suffered taunts about being ugly,short and masculine. I suffered the worst bullying in high school, It was torture. One of the things I've noticed over the years is that I'm always attracted to heterosexual tall curvy ultrafeminine women that I know are unavailable.

It's been a pattern since I was a teenager. There was this girl I was in lust (thought it was love then) with all through high school and I basically idolized her. The problem was I barely even spoke to her because I was so nervous around her. As a result I never really tried to date anybody else because I thought she was the one I was supposed to be with. Since i was a teenager I am more sexually attracted to heterosexual well endowed ultrafeminine tall curvy attractive women. They turn me on. All the women I gotten far with were not my physical type. I just did what a lot of other dykes seem to do and adjust to what the market has to offer. Moreover, in the past I have scared women away for acting weird (nothing major or too weird) but enough where they weren’t interested in me. I am just not good at talking to women; I get tongue tied and am not confident. What do you think? have you ever felt the same way? Am I creepy? (yeah I guess so)I am basically looking if someone could help me to cope with this situation… I just don’t know what to do.

Please try not to judge me too much as this forum is supposed to be accepting and non-judgemental.I don’t know what it is, but ever since around high school heterosexual attractive tall curvy feminine females have been very uncomfortable around me.Does anyone relate to this or understand why straight women would get scared or creeped out or repulsed by someone so fast if they’re not really a rapist? Can it really be facial features alone (really ugly wrinkled face)? What kind of outward behaviour will make them creeped out or repulsed?I am short and skinny.it’s not like I randomly walk up to them and start touching their breasts or something. I at least know that that would be totally inappropriate. I am tiny short skinny 53year old masculine woman.I am not tough and strong. I am not intimidating.I am physically completely harmless.

I still find it difficult to be normal around tall well endowed curvy heterosexual feminine women. I feel immensely attracted even standing next to tall,curvy, feminine women. Has anyone dealt with this? For me the, taller a woman the better. If there's a tall feminine woman who's busty and is showing a generous amount of cleavage, well my brain just gets hypnotized by them. Its like I can't focus on her face, my eyes lock on to them like magnets. I've had this problem for a long time (since high school) it probably comes about because of my sexual frustration but I constantly find my eyes darting down to tall curvy female's breasts and butts when I'm talking to them or just pass them.
Its real embarrassing, I feel like I'm some lewd perv but there's no conscious thought, my eyes just lock on to them without my control. Its just tall well endowed curvy ultrafeminine women, not skinny, overweight or short women. My other problem is all the women I gotten far with were not my physical type. I am ugly. I can't stand looking at myself in the mirror. Sometimes I will take long drives and just think about how sad my life is, how lonely I have become, the things I regret, and what I could have done differently. I do this a few times a week, drive and cry. It makes me feel better momentarily.

I haven't been happy in years, I don't see any signs of it getting any better. I see most people getting excited for the weekend, but for me, I get depressed. I have no girlfriend. I have no one. I have friends, and I have had girlfriends and a long term (12 years) relationship, but only because people tend to like me when they get to know me. I've never received compliments on my looks. It's like my whole life is a struggle because of this. I never feel great or like a winner. I keep no pictures of myself. Sometimes I'll take some with my laptop's webcam or my cellphone, and when I look at them it's really painful. I've taken pictures from every angle and every single one of them looks terrible.

And the problem is that I can't stand to be in any type of relationship anymore because of that. I'm 53 now and the last time I went on a date was 2 years ago. Some feminine lesbian women I've known for a while seem attracted to me, flirt or invite me to activities, but I remember how they looked at me the first time they saw me, and it just kills it for me. Maybe I'm vain and shallow. I know this sounds perverted. Like, just, I always have to hold back urges to just touch some tall curvy women breasts or butt. I just get urges to reach out and grope breasts, or slap their butts, or whatever.

I hope you don't say the words tall, curvy, well-endowed, busty, cleavage, feminine, etc. verbally as often as you have in your two posts.

Your last two sentences - creepy, perverted, offensive, talking about sexually assaulting someone, and just gross.

Are you really looking for advice or just a forum to repeat yourself and say gross things about women's bodies on a website full of women?

I really need some advice. Please don't judge me. I just hate myself. I feel like smashing my head against a wall sometimes I just can't stop thinking. I'm just so upset with myself. keep asking why me. Why I have to be such a pervert? Now I'm convinced I'm a perv and a sexual freak. Why am I like this? Why?

This is a troll post.

This is so upsetting to me I don’t think I can discuss this verbally with anyone without bursting into tears.I came here hoping someone can give me some advice, or even some words of comfort. I am feeling so sad. Here is the truth, calling someone a troll has become a form of trolling in it's self. You have no interest in a discussion with me you just want to call me a troll to get me riled up and hopeful get others on your side with such accusations because people just love mobs with pitchforks. I am a human. Just because I am having weird urges and sexual frustrations does not make me a troll.

First of all, I called your post a troll post, not you. Second, you come onto a website and talk about sexualizing women's body parts and how you want to sexually assault them. Then you want us to figure out why you are like this? You are right, I am not interested in discussing your desire to sexually assault women. Nor am I interested in giving you comfort about your desire to sexually assault women.

Gretchen,

If you are not a troll, you need to find a very, very, good therapist because you need much more help than a forum can give you.

I am quoting tantalizing simply because she separated out the most offensive (out of several) parts of your posts.

Admin speaking:

Gretchen, it’s fine to ask for help but the folks here are just regular people and even the actual therapists who come here would be remiss to try to hash this out with you in a public setting.

Please understand that there are a LOT of survivors of sexual trauma and harassment here. Hell, you may be one yourself. I just want you think about how it feels to folks when you talk about how hard it is for you to “control your urges”. That is super unsafe for people who have been the survivors of other people who had issues controlling their own urges.

Also? You’re a brand new member here and folks tend to be leery and protective of this space when a brand new person comes out of the gate posting really incendiary posts.

Thanks,
Angie aka The Admin

Gretchen1965-

I am going to ban the IP address that you are posting from.

We do not allow VPNs, ip cloaks, or other devices designed to conceal your identity.

You are free to sign back up on the forum from your home location if your true intent is to participate in discussions but please know, I will be paying closer attention to the signups and will be cross-referencing the IP address used to sign up on this site with all posts and ip locations in our database.

If I find that you are a current member and have created a second screen name, I will ban you permanently from this site.

Thanks,
Angie

I read it through twice now. Not sure. But my bet would be that it's a guy. Why that would give anyone a chuckle is beyond me.

I was about to suggest to Gretchen she go and see a sex worker who specialises in teaching basic social skills and help explore fantasies. I knew a few, and did a lot of that work myself when I was still in the trade.

But then I remember reading something about the US shutting down all the safe advertising sites.

Therapist, and Sex worker. Both if you have the dosh.

She said she is super short and likes super tall women. But then she said she can't help looking "down" at these women's breasts when she talks to them. She's a troll.

Well man, women or child I don't know, but what I do know is this - whatever a person's age, there are definitely better ways to go about expressing oneself and seeking help. I'm in my 50's and if I ever ran around saying stuff like that, oh I would certainly hope someone around me would be lucid enough to have me institutionalized. I'd say whoever is doing it, regardless of age, has to be very, very immature.

All of it was bad enough but this clinched for me:

"I know this sounds perverted. Like, just, I always have to hold back urges to just touch some tall curvy women breasts or butt. I just get urges to reach out and grope breasts, or slap their butts, or whatever."

Male and a troll.

It's so creepy when this stuff happens. I was on the FB Shambhala group a couple of days ago, and it became clear to me that this guy wanted to discuss the definition of rape because he wanted to talk about rape in detail. You know how rude I can be. I just said if you know this little about sexual assault, should you be commenting on it. What I hate is how stupid you feel afterward for taking a creepy person seriously. *Shiver*

Cellar dweller! 😱