Butches: How do you like to be romanced?
 

In light of the recent conversations around what kind of treatment Femmes appreciate on a date, I thought it would be fun to get some feedback from Butches on what makes YOU feel romanced (on a date or otherwise).

I'm always up for new ideas to make Sparx feel loved, adored, appreciated and swept off her feet.

So I'm curious... what little (or big) romantic gestures do people you date, or your partners make (no matter their gender/identity) that make YOUR hearts go pitter-pat?

:bouquet:

Would it be ok if transguys posted here too, or would you like to keep this just for butches? It's fine if you do, I would just like to know. :)

Totally okay! :) Anyone who feels like the topic speaks to them is welcome to post their thoughts! :bunchflowers:

Everyone is welcome to post!
 

Everyone's welcome to post!

I would just ask that people try not to generalize on what all butches, transguys, etc might like so that everyone feels comfy sharing THEIR personal preferences. :)

Personal experiences or things you've done that you know have made your date or partner feel special are totally encouraged!

I love music so it means a lot to me if my girl makes me a mixed CD or something small like that.

I also have a thing for movies, especially old favorites. I had an ex who went out and rented a few of my favorite movies and picked some junk food after I had a bad day. It meant a lot to me that she not only remembered my off the wall favorites, but also took the time to find a few.

All in all, I'm easy to romance. Wear a shirt in my favorite color or a color I like to see on you, watch a football game with me cause you know I'm excited about it, even if you don't like it, let me cook for you (it makes me feel like I'm taking care of you), send me funny or sweet texts/pictures, play Scrabble with me; little things is all it takes for me.

A note in my pocket or sweet email or voice mail or text can have me smiling for days.

I appreciate kindness, thoughtfulness, a good sense of humor, intelligence, a great outlook on life.

I like to ask a woman out, but I am happy to be asked out too or to plan something together. I am very happy to take a walk, have a cup of coffee together, going to a bookstore or something simple. I do also like going to the symphony, theater, museum and things like that and dressing up once in a while can be kind of fun. I really love sports too, but I don't expect or need someone to do things with me that they don't enjoy. Some femmes like sports, some don't. So really I like a wide range of activities.

I do like surprises, but not everyone does. So before you spring one, you might want to make sure the person likes that type of thing.

I do like opening doors and helping with a coat and things like that, so if you don't like it please let me know, but I hope you won't be offended. It is my pleasure and has nothing to do with thinking a woman that I am dating or with can't do it for themselves.

I do like regular contact and good communication. I of course understand there are times when someone is quite busy with their family, friends, job and other things. It's just when someone disappears in and out without knowing why. If you are going to be late try to let me know. If I know you are someone who always runs 15-30 minutes late then that is ok, otherwise I am a worry wart.

I do appreciate being romanced. I honestly don't get why it wouldn't be OK for butches or transguys to like some reciprocity in the romancing department. The "methods" might not be the same, but, I don't want to be alone in creating (and sustaining) the romance factor.

I am not very role-oriented, so, I guess there are going to be differences with replies here. Whatever works for individuals!

I am sure I will think of more things, but here is a few:

I love it when a femme cooks for me. Invite me over for a meal, that means so much. Of course, it makes me want to have sex with her even more, lol, but I am more than capable of taking no for an answer and not pressuring. I also like it if she makes it obvious if she really likes me. I am not the best at picking up signals, unfortunately. If she is really interested, she will have to bang me upside the head with a 2x4 to get that across. If I offer her a back rub, or touch her shoulder or her back, it means I want to kiss her. If she doesn't respond, then I will assume she isn't receptive. Sometimes I just can't tell, so then I ask if it is okay.

Please, femmes, don't get mad if I bring you :rrose: It doesn't mean I expect anything in return, I am just trying to do something nice for you with no strings attached. That goes for anything else I might do; just because I do it that doesn't mean I expect something in return, like a gift, or sex.

I love making out, and I am fine with stopping short of going further. Making out is something I really look forward to on a date, but if that is uncomfortable for someone, I really appreciate if she says so upfront. I love it when a girl shows me she really cares and is interested. I show it by giving greeting cards between dates, or just calling to say 'I am thinking about you'. If she does small gestures such as this, it really means a lot to me. My ex-wife was a really good singer, and when we were first dating she would sing something just for me. I loved that. I love holding hands too. Cuddling is a must! I am, after all, a snuggle bunny :D

That's all I have, I am sure I will be back with more. :)

First off I must be shure that she is intrested in dateing me,I know this sounds crazy but ive gotten some mixed signals for some folks over the years..so so for us to be on the same page is the best thing for starters.Realise im hard of hearing so I may not hear you as well as you prolly would like,I know repeating thigs can be a drag but realise its a problem for me as well.
Hear goes,talk to me,look me in the eye dont be checking the cell phone or gazeing over my shoulder at whatever.Know from the start,cause I will tell you if you ask that I dont do one night stands or even a week later..if and when we get serious I want to know you really well and you me..become a friend first cause some of the best ltr's come from friendships that are great.I dont need a fancy resturant,or anyone to spent money on me,im just a simple kind of person that can just be relaxed and laid back.
Drama people need no apply..im not tall enough for that rolocoaster.we all have som drama but keep it in check.If u are not over the X we can be friends..but till u are done with the X..nothing else.If u r a player..same rules apply.
What works is good humor,make me laugh,enjoy out doors,like music,moveis are fun...must get along with my fur kids..I like going to trade days,fleamarkets,danceing when I can..I like to fish but havent gone in a long time.I have a ton of cd,c and vidios..can do movies at home.
Thats a starter any way..more later.

It's an easy thing to be on a date with me, and then we'll go home. If you want more you have to be a mystery without trying to be. Don't upload all of yourself to me,or I may get bored. And boredom is an eternal enemy of romance. You cannot be put in a slot. Just keep defying the mold, and I'll like this.So if you are a femme in a state of flux, always trying to improve yourself, and rediscovering yourself,I will definately be romanced. There have been femme's here who are athletic and enjoy talking about sports. Then she'll say something wise and I'll think, wow she must be a genius and read alot of books. Then she'll say something sweet and kind and good and then she'll recycle herself again and say/do something naughty and piss me off and I'll think how is this? Then she'll say a speech about something and i'll say look at her go! She must be an orator! She must have her own radio show, or comedy show. And this can go on forever lol. I cannot define her. I can only grow to love her, like my ex wife of 35 years.She was like a mountain with many layers, and I was a miner of gold. I liked to dig through these layers, but I knew there was more.It frustrated me that I could'nt define her..and I loved this about her.She did'nt withhold information, she made me work to get it out in her own wise way. I like mystery and change. I want to dig a layer and find the mountain has pushed up three layers higher, so we'll be closer to the stars.

I've never been asked out. I always do the asking, it seems. I wouldn't be opposed to being asked. If I were dating, that is.

I definitely like being appreciated, and small ways work just fine. I don't like being the center of attention. Ever. So, big, showy things aren't for me. I tend to be a quiet, behind the scenes, kind of guy. I love getting sweet or dirty or flirty text messages throughout the day. Send me a postcard. Tell me you can't wait to talk to me later. That all makes me feel special.

I know I wrote a post somewhere on this site about a year ago about how the big thing for me, especially as I age, is acceptance. That's how I feel loved. Accept me for what I am. And while I try to convince you I'm basic, I'm really not. Sometimes, I am...Daddy, lover, sadistic, quiet, loud, cocky, shy, relentless, lazy, insistent, romantic, cynical, always dominate, never a bottom, funny, serious, a jock, a nerd, a smartass and a sweetheart. Too often, a girl tries to put me in one box, and doesn't accept the other sides as readily. Unfortunately, really.

Oh, and a year or so ago, I spent time with a woman who put a lot of time into planning our day together. I have to say, I really appreciated that. She knew I spend my day at work making a lot of decisions. She just took it upon herself to plan our day we'd spend together. It was nice. Not a requirement, by any means. But I did like it as a change from the way I usually would date.

Just some thoughts.

Jake

i am always reminded how special i am when my Ms stays up all night long picking my brain and talking to me about things We/we are both interested in. then She takes me to breakfast or We/we go to bed and get intimate. i have always been in relationships that the expectation was that it was my job to do the romancing. this relationship is dictated differently. sometimes Ms will surprise me with an afternoon out and about that is focused on me. She will take me sharks tooth hunting or She will take me to a store that sells Armani mens undies and let me pick out a pair of sexy chonchos that make my ass look fly. She oooohhhs and ahhhhhs while i try them on and makes a big deal to tell me how hot i look. She will offer to cook for me from out of no where and make me my favorite rice dish that only She can cook...delicious!!! when She takes me to San Fran, She always makes an effort to take me somewhere that is special to Her from Her past and tell me about Her experiences that have shaped the person She is. Romance for me is unexpected gestures and spontaneous outings. They don't necessarily have to revolve around me, i just need to know the effort is for Us/us!!!

Never been the romantic type...so I really don't like to be romanced, nor am I big on doing the romancing. Honestly, any "romantic gestures" would just make me feel guilty, awkward and desperate to get out of said situation.

being listened to , lusted after


and






food!

the way to my heart ?
Third rib down with a cheese knife ..

Joking aside.

Take my hand
Ruffle my hair
Lots of steamy kisses
Cook for me .. I will cook for you.
Some seductive music .. Seducing me would be red hot.
Look after me and I will look after you in so many enjoyable ways.