Where do I meet potential dates??
 

Hello all!

I'm having a little trouble meeting people here in Spokane, WA. The LGBT community here doesn't seem very big whatsoever. =\ I'm kind of new to the lesbian dating scene though, having only come out this summer. I look like a girly straight girl so that may be one of my problems lol.

I was hoping for a little advice on where to go to meet people. Or does anyone know any good lesbian dating apps/sites I could try? Or is anyone also from Spokane or nearby? Let's get a drink! :) lol I just feel like since coming out my love life is at an all time low and I am not ok with this! Help?

Hello
 

Hi,

I've noticed no one replied to your post so I'm diving in. I'm a middle aged sexy, beautiful femme and even though I live in a big city have also a problem with meeting people.

The LGBT community can be a daunting place if you are not "visible" as a lesbian and are just coming out.I'd think this website is a good place to start exploring possibilities.

I empathize with the feeling of coming out and feeling like your love life is doomed because of geography. However, all you need is the one good person for you.Maybe going to meetups will help or just following some interests of yours will lead you to the right person.

Good luck!

I feel the same way. I have tried online dating sites but the jury is still out. I think because I just want to date. I haven't been on the market for 34 years so in addition to the fact that I am older than many are looking for I have no idea how to flirt or start a conservation in a bar, etc. Always been a bit of a wallflower. I live in NJ and even though I have access to NYC it seems a little daunting

To me it seems online and bars are the best bet as far as the Evergreen state is concerned. If you are lucky you can end up meeting someone someplace random.

BUMPED.......................

City Jails, County lock ups, and probation officers offices:police:

lmao homoe go for it !

It isn't easy. Being femme makes it even harder. I feel that, if you are a femme, you have to be the one to start up the conversation. You have to let the person you are interested in actually get the idea that you are interested.

I feel like butches have an easier time meeting people because they are not invisible (most often).

I don't do that starting the conversation thing. Lol. I am really just too shy.

Okcupid and POF have quite a few in Spokane. I've even been contacted by a couple butches in Spokane (im in Canada) because the Butches I've talked to find it hard to figure out. Considering Spokane was listed in Autostradle as a total dyke city (from their survey response) kind of makes you despair that all the dykes are home, sitting on their couches wondering where each other is!!!
Try meetups as well, it's a website/app that gets local groups of people together. And if you don't see what you want, start a group in meetups yourself. I'm going to as soon as school is finished and I have time to be a hostess to a group (show up at every meeting for the first year)
I started one in Oxford and I had to leave just as it got underway :(

Kind of funny, actually. Well-post testosterone FtMs are in the same boat as femmes!

I tend to be invisible. Or maybe it's more oblivious.

But I definitely relate to the shy thing. I have trouble starting conversations.

Especially with an attractive femme. I get all tongue tied. And that suave butch I like to think I am ends up looking like a stumbling idiot.

I wish I could figure out how to "Date" without ending up in a relationship. Which I guess is usually the point. Hmm.. :thinking:

Just someone I could take out for dinner or weekend excursions or simply have fun at events with.

The meetup idea is a good one; I went to a couple in Berkely while I was still in Ca and it was a good low pressure/interest based way to meet folks. I've been traveling too much of late for it, but now that things are calming down I think I'll try it in my new(ish) city soon. While I enjoy doing things on my own, and do, there are some things that are more fun when you have someone with you.

I agree that femme invisibility sucks. Especially for butches! (Can't pick you out of a crowd easily)

If anyone figures this out please post, I gave it up years ago.

I have put up a rather helpful post :)

Also, face book offers a bajillion groups to join. I've personally joined about 12 different local social meet up and event groups, 6 of which are dyke-queer focus, so I can have conversation with locals, know of local events within reach and when they happen. Most of these things are not advertised in papers or postered or fliers handed out. People don't do that much anymore - the way they advertise groups and events is through social media.

So joining facebook groups has been really helpful.

I type in search words and find a group to join that local and dyke. Then I look on the members list for someone who looks butch- then go to their page and look up all of their social groups because they might have some great groups I don't know about. I read about those groups, join the ones I like the sound of and repeat the process.

That way I find out a) where the butches and queers are actually going b) seeing where the femmes and girlies are going too. I found a couple femme friendship nights because of this.

It does take some research and a steep learning curve, and time, but if one is willing to try, it's great to learn the new ways social groups are coming together.

That's a great idea also! But ... my FB page is mostly work connections (okay, and I have no social life) - and most don't know I'm trans, so I don't want to join things that are queer (no shame, I don't go out of my way to hide it, but it's kind of private as well). I'll bet there is a privacy setting that will disallow others from seeing my groups - have to check that out.

There is also having a FB page that is your own. I do that. There is my career facebook page which has my real name, and my private life facebook page which is not my real name and shows *nothing* publicly. Solves everything.

Hey, I get the same exact way. It's no fun feeling like that either.

This raises a question with me. I'm well aware of how social media and particularly facebook are now pretty much the default way that events, especially for sub-cultures, are promoted. I'm not on facebook nor am I comfortable with putting my real name out there to be snagged by random searches from distant relatives or old school acquaintances. Never mind the glaring security issues (as I see it).

I *think* I would enjoy participating in some of the groups I've seen mentioned on other sites and also to have better access to the local scene. My question then, since I've never been on it, is how do you go about setting up an alias? I was under the impression that an alias is somehow routed out or proof was required. :confused:

Yes, I live under a rock.

my gram said I should meet someone at church or in a library....neither has ever happened....