Femmes: what makes you feel sexy?
 

Starting my first new thread :nervous:

anyway, I am interested, my fellow femmes, in what makes you feel sexy. Not in a general sort of way... but what you find helps you come back to yourself when you feel run down, or frumpy, or rejected or out of touch (or all of the above!)... how do you get back to a feeling of sensuality and sexiness that gives you a morale boost and makes you feel strong once more?

For me, I find if I take the time to set my hair in curlers and then do a nice brush out, this really gives me a massive boost. My hair looks good, which means I feel a lot better about how I look and that gives me confidence. Without styling my hair really doesn't do anything and a lot of my self-esteem is attached to being well-presented so even just doing my hair can make me feel a lot more in control and therefore a lot more confident.

Another thing is, if I am really run down and stressed out and exhausted and don't feel like my body is properly mine anymore, if I can afford it I go and get an hour or two hour full body massage. Having my aches and pains soothed away and being coaxed into reconnecting with my physical self through touch really is restorative for me and again, it gives me confidence that makes me feel present in my body and that makes me feel sexy.

Of course, it isn't necessary or important to feel sexy all the time... sometimes I just want to slob around in my pajamas with a cup of tea and be a quiet little recluse and that, in its own way, can be just as restorative and soothing to me as feeling like a bombshell does.

What works for you?

I usually go for a nice long run and then take a hot shower. I get all smelling girly, and dolled up and, that usually does it for me. Knowing my body can DO that, run for 3 miles and feel not out of breath or whatever, makes me feel really strong and sexy.

Lingerie and makeup. :)

my booty jeans ~

Two words...

My guy.

:sparklyheart:

Damn I wish you lived closer! We could play make up together!!!

:sparklyheart:

I love to do my make up, to play around with it. It always makes me feel good to paint my face, lol.

I also love dressing up, big black boots and a pencil skirt, fish nets, porn queen lips and going to some swanky bar and smoking a cigar and drinking a really fine bourbon. It reminds me that I am a woman to be reckoned with when I am feeling beat down.

Taking care of mysel and knowing I can. The thing that makes me feel better than anything is a sense of independence. That gives me the freedom to feel frumpy without feeling fear, without feeling crushed, without feeling that it will cause horrible things. Then being frumpy for a bit is just frumpy. It isn't loaded with all the other things that go with it.

A run. Some hot Thai soup. A spa bath. My own space, and a lot of it. Usually days or weeks. To gain control over how I feel about myself takes more than just a face pack. It means I need the independence and space to wrestle my own shit and to assert my abilities with only myself.

It was hell getting to that point though. And it felt deathly lonely, not looking after people, not being important to someone, not being so needed in someone's daily life.
Now I would not give my feeling of strength in my independence for anything. Not even falling in love. Jesus, especially not that. What makes me feel beautiful is knowledge and confidence in my own self. On my own. And that I am the one that is control of my own life.

I know that's probably not what you meant, but I read what gives me back my self confidence. And the sense of peace and independence and capability I have in comparison to the fear and anxiety of being afraid of being found unworthy... I still get it sometimes, but when I see what's causing it, I change something. Sometimes it's leaving the environment that makes me feel that way.

Actually to be honest it's mostly that. I no longer have to put up with stressors I don't have to. I leave. I find that makes my life a lot easier and my self confidence a lot higher. :)

What makes me feel sexy?

when I'm confident in myself and my own power..

for me.. it starts within and flows without..

For me that is not just feeling sexy that is necessary for my sanity. A lot of people get weird when they are alone too long, I am the exact opposite. Keep me around people and not alone, I get real twitchy and cranky.

Sexy Times
 

Waking up in the morning, hair looks great, it's all tossed and flipped out, slipping on a sundress and flip flops and driving with the music on sunshine warming up my legs.. I love Sunday morning drive sexy...

For me, feeling sexy involves self care, which I forget to do a lot as I get caught up in taking care of everything and everyone else. I love it when I allow myself the time to take a long hot shower, shave everywhere so I am nice and bare, and condition my hair with a deep conditioner. Putting a thick layer of lotion all over my body top's it off.

The feel of clothing brushing over my shaved skin is sensual to me....

Actually that's exactly what I meant... what gives you back your sense of self, your own inner strength that makes you feel in control... and then makes you feel sexy.

I asked partly because this last two years has been very hard for me, I had a nervous breakdown and so I have spent a lot of time being 'frumpy'... not being dressed up, not going out, I stopped performing burlesque, I haven't been dating, I've been a quiet recluse... I learned that taking care of myself the way I need to is something that returns me to myself... that sexy isn't just putting on a tight dress... it's also self-possession and ownership...

I think all means and methods are valid! I've really enjoyed everyone's answers.

I wanted to find out what makes the femmes feel sexy.
After reading all the posts, now I'm feeling sexual. ;)

Better duck out before I get into trouble for posting in here.

hmm
 

I don't believe that is why Femme's post their empowerment, to make others feel sexual, I think it's something we do that fuels us, charges our battery so we can take on the world in our Feminine shell.

Snowy, I knew that before you posted it. I am in a playful mood tonight.

Personally this post makes me feel oogy about what I wrote in here.

Playful or not
 

I don't mean to be a cunt, or be mean, I am only trying to explain to you that when the women.femmes.feminine people of our community start exposing intimate things such as what makes *THEM* feel sexy and someone sexualizes it, it's ickie.


Look around your world, women get sexualized enough without consent.

I didn't share my intimate posting of a sundress on my skin after bed to take a drive for your enjoyment, I did it because I thought about it, for a long time, I examined deep within myself, asked myself what *MAKES ME* feel sexy.


It was like excavating, it always is for me as a Femme to do so cause in the back of my head I am wondering, who's gonna turn this into more than it is.


That's all I was trying to make you understand.

Okay, let me make an apology to everyone for being offensive.

I am sorry.

No excuse for my initial post. I have been in a playful mood today and when I read about a bubble bath, it reminded me of someone. This very special someone is not anyone from BFP. I made a poor choice by posting in this femme forum and made matters worse with content that offended.

Hope everyone can forgive, forget and move on.
That's all I have
Out of here now.
Sincerely,
Brock

Maybe I need to think this through more deeply or someone can explain it. I can appreciate feeling sensual for myself but sexy for myself or as an end in itself, not so much. When I feel sexy, I'm hoping it gets a response or I don't feel sexy for long.

Before going to bed..
 

I enjoy validation as well, I guess for some folks (like myself) the validation comes from within, self acknowledgement is a powerful thing, no one loves me or takes care of me like I do.. Therefore I set the foundation of how others see me that I want to see me.


Make sense?

Sure.
Some folks really can be who they think they are. My mother defined herself as an artist; wanted that on her tombstone; and no amount of bad paintings could convince her otherwise. Her tombstone reads "Artist".

Go Mom
 

Good for your Mom!!! Good thing she never let anyone dictate what she is or isn't!!

Self-care, not just of the physical but even more the intellectual. An afternoon reading, taking myself out for a good meal, recharges me. Taking care of my environment, not just the bedroom. Having balance with the physical, intellectual, and spiritual.

I don't know if feeling "sexy" is always about wanting sex per se, but I love feeling confident and more put-together and that makes me more apt to feel that little "woo" ;).

Sexy?
 

Lots of things make me feel sexy...from a new pair of shoes to feeling like I've taken very good care of myself.

Sometimes, it's the combination of the right pair of jeans and a favorite sweater while taking the subway into work...other times it's a snappy answer to a smart question.

Sometimes the most superficial things make me feel sexy...and other times it's the real stuff of substance.

Sometimes a look from a man makes me feel very sexy ("Look all you want, brother...'cause none of this is for you!" - haha) and other times a good, long stare from a woman across a bar or party. Validation - aka "independent confirmation" - does have its benefits. Plus. I'll be honest as there are some days and nights when I'm not just dressing for the weather...

I have to ask though, what's so wrong about someone getting aroused from what they're reading in here? It's a natural reaction to a discussion that is inherently sexual.

Isn't this like describing a glass of water in great detail...and then being shocked when someone says they are thirsty? Yes, we femmes empower and care for ourselves, plus reserve the right to define "sexy" on our terms for ourselves. That said, we can't expect to possess total control over how others see us, how they want to see us, or what they think is sexy about us.

sexy happy
 

red toenail polish in peeptoes shoes

It makes me wiggle my toes and say *aren't they just so pretty*

Too funny, I was about to respond to say the same thing. I just had mine done Friday and it made me feel so much better after a really crappy week. I even had to take a pic.

A sexy butch reaching over to push a strand of hair back from my face. :wine:

All things lacy. Even more so with bows :)

http://data1.whicdn.com/images/34837..._400_large.jpg

A reassuring hand in the small of my back guiding me through a room or a crowd.

I can relate to being in a funk…..
 

I have been a quiet recluse for about 8 years. My sweetie and I are just starting out, and I find that it is all so exciting but also strange to be in a relationship again. If you are healing from such a deep emotional crisis, take extra good care of yourself now. Continually seek out what pleases or feeds you and go toward it. And maybe some lipstick or cat eyes or something might help….lol….you never know…..

Ay que pelao el puro pelao liking the post about the lace bra…..lol

What Makes Me Feel Sexy
 

Touching a butch's buzz cut

Making my eyes up in a way that would make any drag queen proud

Wearing my lucky leopard print bra

All my tops that show a little cleavage

All my tops that show cleavage and maybe a hint of the leopard print bra

Music with a good beat or heavy duty congas

Having my 'femmeness' appreciated, i.e., complimented on a dress

Getting cruised

Being called 'mami'

K.D. Lang's voice
(OK, anything about K.D. Lang….)

FLIRTING!

When a butch stares at your lips for a second before kissing you

She was trying to change a tire at the time so the pre-kiss look was definitely the sexiest thing going on…….lol

:bellydancer:

oh yah ... drums beating... sexy outfit ... in my super happy place :)