Older
 

My hair is going grey and I think that I am shrinking. Haha!

~~
Dietary restrictions.....:|

(you look for)Large Print :|

When riding a motorcycle in the winter, or the very late fall, or very early spring, becomes an odious chore no matter how much adrenaline it produces, and no matter how many young men look at you admiringly as you meet the challenge.

Nope. Getting back in my car now.

Seniors (i.e. MEEEEE)
 

You are offered a senior's discount, even before you have asked for it :) lol

When you look forward to receiving socks, gloves, and hats as holiday gifts.

...:giggle:......

Older
 

I seem to be tripping and falling more. I scared myself and my colleagues in New Orleans when I tripped on an uneven sidewalk. I was very careful after that but I hurt my hamstring that day. Ugh.

The other day there was a sizable utility project and inspection on my property. I was interested in knowing some of the more detailed aspects of the project out of curiosity. The inspector was a nice fellow who seem to be enjoying imparting his wisdom.

After a few minutes and probably too many questions he looked at me and said “you’re retired aren’t you? “ :sunglass:

Yep, that’s me… back in the house to let him do his job.

Everything you used to do is no longer as much fun as it used to be.

I't like the line in that Leonard Cohen song - I ache in the places where I used to play.

When your Partner gives a Life Alert to wear around the neck with the explanation that I fell in the shower, and a neighbor had to rescue me by crawling through a window. Supposedly, I was beating on the shower walls.

A bit of it sounds like a fish tale, but if She, not known for lies, felt She was so concerned about my poor balance, that She needed to lie about this. I finally said, "yes Sir."

She hit the ball home after having no recollection of any of this.

Assuming you can still do them.....

That too! ........

When the '70s name for a common street drug completely escapes them, leaving only blank
stares in the wake. Really, dudes?

When your retirement age Dr says you're getting on up there

People like to say " Oh age is only a number, it's all in your head"

What tiresome bullshit!

Your body does age, weaken, whatever...so does your brain, btw...

But here's my secret to success...and I've surprisingly managed it quite well:

1. Never do any sports. Screws up your knees, you'll be sorry later.

2. Smoke, the tar will hold you together quite nicely

3. Drink alcohol, preferably beer...it'll fatten you up and that will help you fight off osteoporosis.

4. Love your grandkids but ignore your children and stop asking yourself how you produced such dullards.

When instead if saying "hold my beer" you say "hold my pill"! 😂😂😂

When filling out online forms and you have to scroll and scroll to find your birth year

When you reminisce about the good old days when weed was named for the region it came from: Maui Wowee, Acapulco Gold, Thai Stick, Jamaican, Mexican, home grown.

You're familiar with an electric heating pad that you use when you have an injury or sore muscle or cramps?
Well, you know you're getting older when you result to using a heating BLANKET from your shoulders to your toes, or from your middle to your toes, on the high setting because EVERYTHING hurts and a little heating pad just won't cover it.

How do you know when you are getting older?
 

Running to get somewhere? Slow down, you will get there.
Not having a nap? Forget the rest of the day.
Things that use to bother you does not anymore.
Things that never bothered you now do.
Getting drunk does not appeal to you near as much.
Wild parties can't hold your interest.
Leisure time takes on a whole new meaning.

:goodpost:

And, SO true...:hangloose:

When I remember how old these guys looked to me back in 1972. Like grandparents. Slow dancers too.

I was looking at a photo of a middle-aged couple and I thought “boy they are getting old”…. Then I recognized the couple and they were young folks I knew back in the day! How did they get old? They got old, so what the hell does that make me!

Man does that awareness bring it home!

Wild party? Someone say something about a wild party, eh? Where? when? Am I invited? Guess, I'd better get this fakakta hearing aid fixed!

When you stand with the door open, staring into the fridge and can't remember what you came for, or why you're looking in there. Till you finally give up, hope it comes to you later. Over and over again trying to remember what is it until finally it clicks – hearing aid batteries. Why would I be storing them in there – nobody stores them in there anymore. I'm pretty sure it's one of the Audiologist Ten Commandments – Thou shalt not store hearing aid batteries in the refrigerator. Well fortunately I'm not storing the milk where the hearing aid batteries should be kept.

When doing yard work means your body will hurt for 3 days after LOLOLOL

This is my time to do yardwork too, preparing for a good gardening season. First day of work laid me up a couple days but I am back in the swing of things!

You Know when you are getting older
 

When yardwork means the kid down the street and your wallet.

You know you're getting older when...
 

1) you are continually thankful you have no yard to groom.

2) you have "closed captions" on and bitch if anyone suggests they get turned off.

3) you stop asking people what they said after asking twice.

Getting older
 

When you are getting older and mixing with older folks you realize that older does not necessarily mean wiser.