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-   -   "straight" women and Butches. (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3214)

Merlin 05-08-2011 04:40 PM

"straight" women and Butches.
 
What is the fascination ?

Merlin 05-08-2011 04:45 PM

Is it easier for them to go for a butch,because visually they can maybe have the best of both worlds ?

Male looks,female anatomy ?

Soon 05-08-2011 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merlin (Post 335275)
Is it easier for them to go for a butch,because visually they can maybe have the best of both worlds ?

Male looks,female anatomy ?

For me: Female masculinity is hot.

It's not about the *best of both worlds*--it is about being aware of one's desires--and that goes both ways for butches as well as the femmes...and all people, no?

Merlin 05-08-2011 04:58 PM

June (loving the name) I know love takes all shapes and forms,what I wonder is for a straight or supposedly straight woman is a butch a way to explore their sexuality with someone who visually looks male so as not to give the game away ..

Merlin 05-08-2011 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by June (Post 335287)
I don't know. Go ask a straight woman. ;)

Am seeing one .. Although I think I have blurred her straight lines out :sunglass:

Soon 05-08-2011 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merlin (Post 335285)
June (loving the name) I know love takes all shapes and forms,what I wonder is for a straight or supposedly straight woman is a butch a way to explore their sexuality with someone who visually looks male so as not to give the game away ..

I don't know about that....giving "the game away"?....When I dated butches, it was quite obvious we were both women regardless of how they identified.

If anything, we were more noticeable and immediately considered lesbian/queer by the general public.

Merlin 05-08-2011 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HowSoonIsNow (Post 335289)
I don't know about that....giving "the game away"?....When I dated butches, it was quite obvious we were both women regardless of how they identified.

If anything, we were more noticeable and immediately considered lesbian/queer by the general public.


What about if she passes and is perceived to be male ?

Soon 05-08-2011 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merlin (Post 335290)
What about if she passes and is perceived to be male ?

never happened

Merlin 05-08-2011 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HowSoonIsNow (Post 335295)
never happened

Is that because you date Butches who don't pass ?

Soon 05-08-2011 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HowSoonIsNow (Post 335289)
I don't know about that....giving "the game away"?....When I dated butches, it was quite obvious we were both women regardless of how they identified.

If anything, we were more noticeable and immediately considered lesbian/queer by the general public.

Addendum: I should have written, it was obvious we were both "female born" as some did not ID as women.

Thinker 05-08-2011 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merlin (Post 335270)
What is the fascination ?

Quote:

Originally Posted by June (Post 335287)
I don't know. Go ask a straight woman. ;)

I'm with June......except I'd say you would have to ask each individual straight woman what her specific interest and/or fascination and/or attraction is.

There's no possible way for anyone here (or anywhere) to provide a definitive answer to that question. Anything anyone offers is purely and merely speculation.

*shrug*

The_Lady_Snow 05-08-2011 05:09 PM

It could be "straight" is The only label she knows to identify with, sexual curiosity could be what she is free to do. Heteronorm is what is continually shoved in our faces vía media, religion, culturally. Then again I'm one to believe we're all sexually fluid until sexual standards are fed to us.

Quintease 05-08-2011 05:13 PM

I realise this is a bit off topic, but I've seen women go completely gaga over my bf when they find out he's trans ? What is it that they are looking for I wonder, how do they imagine he'd be different to any other guy?

I've never been butch but I have attracted a fair amount of straight women in my youth, so I'm not so weirded out by the straight girl/butch thing. I figure it's the woman-thing that attracts them, rather than any particular ID, just like some women like feminine men and some like masculine, so what you like tends to cross genders. I don't think it's necessarily a 'queer' attraction however, as straight doesn't mean narrow. If they were all porn would be the same, all kink would be the same and they'd all wear the same kind of underwear ... oh wait!

Quintease 05-08-2011 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merlin (Post 335290)
What about if she passes and is perceived to be male ?

Actually I did know one lesbian who frequently passed and so pulled many a very surprised and intrigued straight woman.

Merlin 05-08-2011 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quintease (Post 335304)
Actually I did know one lesbian who frequently passed and so pulled many a very surprised and intrigued straight woman.


Me I am an honourable butch,I couldn't take advantage of an unknowing straight woman.

All my ex's have previously been straight and knew the score with me, I guess an unscrupulous butch could take advantage of a straight woman's vulnerabilities ??

Merlin 05-08-2011 05:21 PM

What group June ? I will have a peek.

NorCalStud 05-08-2011 05:26 PM

I think it is the butchfemme dance most often. That energy exists in the atmosphere. It is a dance. There is all kine dancin....I have done alotta alotta that dancin. The straight women are saying they love and admire butch energy. They are attracted to those who are themselves regardless of societal pressure. Rebels and freedom are archetypical of strength. These are just words with maybe some illumimation. I always ask straight women why they wanna be with me...it is always desire.

Quintease 05-08-2011 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by June (Post 335311)
This could be fetish-ization (What is the real word I am looking for?)

I suspected as much. It's a bit rubbish, sleeping with someone just to add to your life experience, though I guess it could be fun if you didn't mind being objectified..

Merlin 05-08-2011 05:27 PM

Like June put,sometimes we see things differently this side of the pond .. It doesn't make your thoughts or our thoughts any less topical.

Martina 05-08-2011 06:50 PM

Some of them are probably straight, and some are not. Like dykes who fuck men. Some may be developing a different sexual orientation, and some are just turned on by a guy or guys. We have no way to know.

i think it's only decent of you to assume that her motivations are that she likes you and wants to fuck you. Why interrogate her motivations unless she has given you reason to doubt them? Clearly you have dated straight women before. Is something about this one making you have doubts?

Strappie 05-08-2011 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merlin (Post 335285)
June (loving the name) I know love takes all shapes and forms,what I wonder is for a straight or supposedly straight woman is a butch a way to explore their sexuality with someone who visually looks male so as not to give the game away ..

I have a few friends that are living the straight life. However they date women. Most of these friends date other femmes it's just who they are attracted to.

One of my good friends is a Married lesbian as she calls it. She is married to an amazing man and she has a girlfriend whom is also fem. This partnership works for them.

Doesn't matter it's the preference of each person as to what they like.

Strappie 05-08-2011 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quintease (Post 335313)
I suspected as much. It's a bit rubbish, sleeping with someone just to add to your life experience, though I guess it could be fun if you didn't mind being objectified..

Someone... PLEASE OBJECTIFY ME.... lmao!

Corkey 05-08-2011 08:29 PM

Lets put a couple of misconceptions to rest shall we..
Male does not nor has never as far as I know been about being Butch. Butch is a 3d gender, except when it isn't. Not ALL Butches LOOK masculine, nor do ALL Femmes LOOK feminine, except when they do and if they want to.

You have some kind of messed up generalizations going on here from your posts that perhaps you should do some reading on this site to get some since of where these thoughts are coming from.

Again welcome to The Planet, and I hope you will explore not just the things that make us different, but those that make us a community.

Heart 05-08-2011 08:47 PM

Whenever I see a thread about "straight women and butches" -- it makes me twitch. (Haven't read the posts - so nothing personal.)

Mr.Nobody 05-08-2011 08:56 PM

I think a more fitting question would be...what is YOUR fascination with straight women? I mean...with a world full of beautiful queer, gay, femme, lesbian, girls, grrls (and any other id's I may have left out).

blush 05-08-2011 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr.Nobody (Post 335436)
I think a more fitting question would be...what is YOUR fascination with straight women? I mean...with a world full of beautiful queer, gay, femme, lesbian, girls, grrls (and any other id's I may have left out).

Ah yes. And does that straight girl see you for who you are? Will she walk down the street with you when it's not comfortable. Will she take off her heels and beat the living shit out of anyone that messes with ya'll? Will she walk through your life with you?

This thread feels like a shit-stirring thread. Haven't we done this one before?:|

Martina 05-08-2011 10:09 PM

If the butch thinks it's cool cause s/he's converting or taking women away from men, it's squicky. Otherwise, who cares? If people find each other, i am all for it.

A lot of femmes -- and butches -- were once straight.

i guess it is weird to say one has only dated straight women. Maybe the butch lives in the middle of no where or somethin. Who knows.

blush 05-08-2011 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martina (Post 335462)
If the butch thinks it's cool cause s/he's converting or taking women away from men, it's squicky. Otherwise, who cares? If people find each other, i am all for it.

A lot of femmes -- and butches -- were once straight.

i guess it is weird to say one has only dated straight women. Maybe the butch lives in the middle of no where or somethin. Who knows.

I came out late. A lot of people come out late. I wouldn't say I was ever straight. And it is a very confusing time.

Perhaps I missed the intent of the thread? Are we talking about dating self-identifying straight women and why they are attracted to butches? Or are we talking about dating people who are questioning?

AtLast 05-08-2011 10:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr.Nobody (Post 335436)
I think a more fitting question would be...what is YOUR fascination with straight women? I mean...with a world full of beautiful queer, gay, femme, lesbian, girls, grrls (and any other id's I may have left out).

I agree with this. And I agree with what blush brings up about the fact that many of us (femmes & butches) went through questioning in our lives.

Martina 05-08-2011 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blush (Post 335465)
I came out late. A lot of people come out late. I wouldn't say I was ever straight. And it is a very confusing time.

Perhaps I missed the intent of the thread? Are we talking about dating self-identifying straight women and why they are attracted to butches? Or are we talking about dating people who are questioning?

i was probably always a dyke too, but i had no idea for a while. My first naughty dream was about a woman, but i ignored a lot of clues. If anyone had asked me if i was straight back in the day, i would have said yes. i would not have ID'd as questioning.

Basically it's not clear to me why this butch is asking the question. It almost seems as if s/he's bragging. Dating a straight woman is not a bad thing in itself though. And no one has a right to tell a straight person s/he is not straight even if they fuck same sex now and again. It's the same with dykes.

i personally would date a straight woman if she floated my boat although that wasn't always true. Straight people are less narrow than they used to be, seems like. i certainly date and/or serve bisexual women.

i don't know. It does seem like a pointless thread just asking us to make some of the usual comments.

Gayla 05-08-2011 11:03 PM

Off the top of my head, I don't recall the topic being discussed on this site before and even if it has, the OP is a new member and might not be aware that the conversation has taken place before in our community.

I have known many butches who date straight women, including a few who will only date women who ID as straight. I have dated, and had LTRs with, straight women. I can't speak for them, but in my experience the draw was probably a combination of several different things including the taboo factor and the "best of both worlds" factor.

On my end, it was never about intentionally seeking out straight women, it was just something that happened in the same way that I have met, dated and have had relationships with any other person.

Merlin 05-09-2011 12:50 AM

Oh dear,

It seems this has gone a bit twisted with people jumping on the defensive.

This is a discussion board is it not?

Hmmm maybe I shouldn't ask questions that seemed to have hit a nerve ..

My bad .. Maybe the pond is too big and we won't connect.

Haven't been on the scene for a long time so I don't know of all the genders,id's etc.

And it's not a shit stirring thread .. Nor was I asking because I get kicks out of turning straight women.

I date them because they the gay pond in which we all fish over here is tiny,itsmore of a puddle.

Think of the spider gram on the l word , America has a huge lake in which you fish.

Seems some folk like to jump on newbies .. This is why some forums are cliquey.

Merlin 05-09-2011 12:53 AM

Oh and for the record ..

I don't know any Americans, I have never been to America .. I thought this might be a good place to break the ice.

Maybe I shouldn't paddle into fast waters without a canoe or paddle.

Camo Eagle 05-09-2011 01:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merlin (Post 335270)
What is the fascination ?

I guess I never realized that there was a fascination. Is it done a lot in your area? (you may have already addressed it by saying you have a "small dating pool" in your area)


Quote:

Originally Posted by Merlin (Post 335505)
Oh dear,

It seems this has gone a bit twisted with people jumping on the defensive.

This is a discussion board is it not?

Hmmm maybe I shouldn't ask questions that seemed to have hit a nerve ..

My bad .. Maybe the pond is too big and we won't connect.

Haven't been on the scene for a long time so I don't know of all the genders,id's etc.

And it's not a shit stirring thread .. Nor was I asking because I get kicks out of turning straight women.

I date them because they the gay pond in which we all fish over here is tiny,itsmore of a puddle.

Think of the spider gram on the l word , America has a huge lake in which you fish.

Seems some folk like to jump on newbies .. This is why some forums are cliquey.

Merlin, I dont think its anything personal against you. Its just the norm on these sites for some to be defensive. I see it as being from many places. It may be from someones past bad exp, lives, psychological make up, circumstances, personality, etc.
On this side of the pond, some will even argue over "agreeing to disagree". LOL For the most part you can have a good discussion.
After youve been around a while, you will just learn to ignore some, and engage w/ others.
It may just take everyone a while to get used to the cultural diffs..
Do stay and feel welcomed.


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