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Holiday Blues
In light of the rapidly approching holidays I thought that I would just put a reminder out there for myself and others to look around us and reach out to other people.
The holidays, regardless of religion, belief or culture tend to be a rough time for some people. Historically thoughts of suicide, suicidal gestures and attempts are higher this time of year. In my line of work, I have seen this from an up-close perspective. Estranged families or friends. The first set of holidays after a death of a loved one. Distance and time seperations from loved ones. Seeing the "happy, happy, joy, joy" people on TV and feeling the pressure to emulate that or wondering what it is that they "have" that isn't present in one's own life. Trying to keep up with the neighbors. All these things are reasons that are expressed or intimated as to why the worsening of depression and suicide rates are increased this time of year. With that in mind, take a look around you at work, at church, school, at the grocery store. Make eye contact, smile, say "Thank You" and actually mean it. If you have it, place the extra $5 in the Salvation Army bucket or at the homeless shelter. Volunteer time. Invite someone out for a cup of coffee. Pick up the phone. If you live near a military base, check with the MWR office (morale, welfare, and recreation) and "sponser" a military member (they usually come to your home for a holiday dinner). Sometimes that one little thing that you may think as insignificant is the thing that is monumental for someone else. |
Nightshift,
Thank you for your post. Most suicides happen on Wed. or during holidays. It is a personal struggle for me to get thru them. So yes, the smile, the small talk does help. You have just no idea. Holidays create snapshots in our minds...flashes of friends, family, loved ones gathering together to celebrate. Sometimes the memories are wonderful, and sometimes they are horrible. For me, I wish everyone would be safe. That would be the best gift of all. Namaste, Andrew |
Great thread idea...
Back in what seems like a lifetime ago, I worked at the local 24 hr crisis intervention center while in college. I never had quite a feeling of gratitude for the many blessings in my life than after working the phones on a particular Christmas Eve. I found myself profoundly sad yesterday. We didn't have Thanksgiving at our house. The Mommainlaw went to spend the day with her deceased husband's family, and while they are always gracious to Jess and I - they aren't "my" family. Next year, regardless of how tough a trip home may be on me physically, we WILL be at my Momma's dinnertable on Thanksgiving, wishing that my redneck, loud brothers would just shut up and eat, speaking in concert level tones so that we can be heard over the multitudes of televisions, so that my father can hear us. I am sure that it would have been cheaper for us to fly to Nashville than my therapeutic shopping last night! LOL Jess is :accountant: the pennies this morning! The bright side of our nonThanksgiving... a lovely new kitchen, freshly painted, new flooring, waiting on the faux tin ceiling to arrive and the new countertops. Looking forward to Christmas. |
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Thank you for putting this out there ! |
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When I get down at this time of year (and I do...oh I do), I remind myself of my personal motto which is: "seek joy, y'all".
And I aggressively seek joy. I remind myself that if I feel left out or ignored by friends it is only because they don't know that I need them. It's my responsibility to tell them I'm lonely and could use a hug or a smile. And I always find that by giving a smile or a hug, I somehow magically get one back. Yesterday, I expected to be alone. But an invitation came out of the blue and I accepted. Even though I thought of a million ways not to go (I have social anxiety that I am working on), I went. And you know? I had a great time. My day was full of food and laughter and new friends. Just emailed one today in fact. So good on you all for reaching out and remembering how to seek joy for yourself. You bring joy to my life by sharing that journey. :harp: |
I must be on a role today, lol.
Or angels are making me do the over time good samaritan thingy. Once again, had to run to the store ~shakes head~ next time im walking! Another driver in distress. This time she was mad, cranky and not so shy about her feelings of the holidays. Her car was over heating so I stopped, rendered aid and proceeded to open the radiator cap slowly, well she started yelling for me to hurry up. I smiled and said to her, it will spray the both of us if I open it to quickly. She said then you open it and I will get behind my drivers seat. As I proceeded to open it slowly, she honked her horn and yelled, (What's the hold up fella)? And then cranked the car over almost taking my fingers off with the belt turning as she revved the engine I politely asked her to turn the car off so that I could get some anti-freeze in there until she could get to a shop and have the hose replaced. She yelled, what the hell do I look like? Bank of America??? ~True thought~ NOT... won't go there, lol. I finally finished what I was doing as blood was dripping down my arm because of the belt clipping my finger nail half off as she threw me a $5.00 bill. I politely passed it back to her and suggested that she put it in a Salvation Army kettle next time. She said to hell with the Salvation Army Kettle, she got better things to do with her 5 bucks. Well, so much for being a good samarrtan, but I didn't show any discontent and handed her my Pep Boys card that still had thirty dollars so she could get her a new radiator hose. She stopped for a minute, looked at me, and said; Ya know fella? This is the first time anyone has every offered to help me out... I think you should give this $5.00 bill to the Salvation Army for me as well as this jacket that someone could use because I think someone will need it more than I. I thanked her and stopped at the Salvation Army and told the manager about the story, and she was so happy to hear about the womans change of mind, all because someone never yelled back or made her feel bad. I guess it just goes that sometimes patience does pay off... And Arwen? Your post rocks! |
I don't know how you all stay focused and positive. I am just :blues:. I have fed the homeless. I have tried to be hopeful, and happy, but I am not. I have been through too much. I have been beaten down...
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Depression is very hard. But you don't have to be alone and suffer. There are many, many people that are here to lend a helping hand. We can help with the tools, but You and You alone will have to take these tools and build your own castle. Once your castle is built, then you invite us in... And the festivities begin! Smile Andrew, You have a Heart of Gold |
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Andrew, I think the trick for me is that I realize that I have a choice in how I feel. Sure, I could be all down in the dumps and such, but I WANT to be happy. It IS hard to stay focused and positive, but dammit, I am gonna win! Life isn't going to kick my ass and me lie down and give up. I get up every morning, literally chanting in my head, "I choose to be here. Find the joy in it." I don't mean to sound trite, and its not meant to marginalize just how crippling depression can be. I know, first hand, how you may be tired to your bones in feeling the way you do. For me, I had to believe that I deserved to be happy, I was more than capable of navigating MY life and that I would be a shaker and a mover, that I wouldn't let life just happen around me or to me. Here's hoping that tomorrow, you wake and find a small spot of joy. :smelling-flower: Christie |
Blaze and Christie,
Thank you for your kind words. Andrew |
Still at the same place as I was before.
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I feel pretty lonely this holiday season so far, even though I am close to my parents and aunt. I just wish I could spend more time with my kid. And I wish I had a girlfriend, to be honest. I also wish I were closer to all the friends that I have drifted away from during my illness the past year and a half. So I do have this lonesome, empty feeling inside. *sigh*
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This holiday season is/is going to be a little difficult for me as well. I am waay to far from home and my wonderful family. I have made some fantastic friends here but it is just not the same. I'm out here working, a job I could probably find at home but for less money. I'm to the point of "screw the money," I'm going home. I told her I'd live in cardboard box and by damn I may just have to prove that...at least we'd be together...hmm, and closer too, if for nothing other than warmth. My God, how I miss her.
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The holiday season makes me sad too. It's been a tough year.
Hugs all around :) We will somehow all make it though. |
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Jaqueline,
I agree with you about Blaze. He is a wonderful guy. :wateringgarden: Andrew |
How is everyone doing today? I am praying for you all.
Peace. Love, Andrew |
Holiday Blues
This will be the first holiday without my family. I am hoping that with a fresh start and new traditions my daughter and I will be ok.
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La_La,
I wish you and your child peace this holiday season. I will be saying a few prayers for you both. I suffer from depression, and it is hitting me hard right now. So, I can understand. Namaste, Andrew :cuttree::snowysmiley::rudreindeer: |
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