I don't think she's out there
 

Sorry for being a downer folks, especially after being away for such a long time, but I just wanted to share in a space where people might be sympathetic.

I've reached a point where I think my perfect partner isn't out there.

I've had a lot of false starts, misfires, and missteps this year. I've been dealing with my own emotional issues surrounding depression, but that, on top of having no luck meeting someone, has me thinking the worst -- that there just isn't a woman out there for me.

I am trying to learn to accept being single, to accept that I'll probably walk the rest of my life alone, but if I'm being honest, accepting that notion is breaking my heart. I have so much love to give. I don't think I'm a horrible person. So why can't I find someone to love?

I've heard people say that your perfect person shows up when you stop looking, but I think I've gone clear past "not looking" to "not caring" and "not being open", so I'd probably miss her even if she did show up.

In other news, my descent into the lesbian librarian stereotype is complete - I adopted a cat about a month ago. That's something to be happy about. As I write this, she's curled up on the couch having a snooze. She's so adorable. :)

Anyway, thank you for letting me share.

Enjoy life!
 

Girl enjoy singlehood!! Find a sexy black dress accessorize and go out for NYE have yourself a good time being single does not equate dead!!!

You say single like it's a bad thing. If you feel alone, increase the number of friends you have. I've been single for nearly 5 years and I have no intention of going back. I have more friends than I could have ever imagined and don't feel a compulsion to get into a relationship for the sake of getting into a relationship. I recognize it's different for everyone, but honestly, being single probably shouldn't be the primary reason for getting into a relationship.

being single should be looked at as a choice,not a default! like Snow said--enjoy being single!

I think many of us have felt like, that perfect someone wasn't out there. At sometimes in our lives, it's the perfect person for the moment, for a year or 8 or 10. Life, and love are fluid. Love yourself first, and be successful at that. You just never know what is around the next corner.

Well, you're right. Your perfect partner isn't out there. A "perfect partner" doesn't exist.

I've had a tendency to get together with a lover after having known her for a long time, even a couple of years. I never thought of these women as potential partners when I met them but as I got to know them, we negotiated love and friendship and passion and comfort together in our two selves.

Someone who would make a loving partner for you is probably floating around out there (more than one, by my beliefs). You might miss her if you're just looking for the "perfect" one.

***i completely... completely... completely and totally empathize with you on this one!!!

do your very best in turning this downer into a positive by enjoying the friends you do have and will make along the way in your journeys.

this took courage to post for you i'm sure... i applaud you for sharing.

and know this one thing... if not anything else... You Are Not Alone In This...

~right there with you,
the tazzmeister :)

***ButchEire... i like you! i could not have said it any better. :)
*fist pump and a ^5 to ya! ;)

I know what I say here will just sound like a bunch of cliches but here it goes.

Over 10 years ago I left a long term relationship of 13 years because I knew in my heart it wasn't all that I wanted. We were a very good couple in many ways but the deep passion just wasn't there. It was a very big risk for me to take leaving that relationship because I could have stayed quite comfortable. After that it was more than 10 years of very ups and downs (mostly downs) and a lot of mistakes made along the way. I never regretted my decision, but I became increasingly pessimistic that I would not find what I was looking for and wanted. To top it off I am a stone butch woman, which is a bit of a rare combination, so I thought that would make my chances even smaller.

I definitely found my One when I was least expecting it and after all those years of mishaps and disappointments. I had just been focusing on myself and cutting the ties from negativity and negative people. I had just moved into a new apartment and was focused on that and my websites and work. I was determined that I was just fine by myself, but I think deep down inside I never gave up to the possibility. We met right here on BFP and since first talking have been inseparable ever since, and I can't imagine anyone more perfect for me. It really does seem like a miracle, but it would have never happened if I had totally given up or settled for something not right for me.

I think a lot of it was good fortune and I can't guarantee the same can happen for anyone else, but I would say focus on yourself and keep your heart open to the possibilities of true love. I have really enjoyed reading your posts here and I truly believe you will be just fine either single or coupled. Best wishes to you. Don't stop believing in yourself or true love. They are both incredible things to enjoy and savor.

She's out there...

Waiting to see you laughing over coffee,

Watching you smile at work,

Seeing how much fun you are having with your friends,

Watching you dance,


She's waiting on you---to be happy with yourself, active in your life and comfortable with your friends--then she's going to come out of nowhere.
She's more attracted to you when you're smiling, confident, and secure in
yourself. She wants this to have a great start, and is waiting for timing to be
better.

She's been looking for you, too.

I understand
 

letter, I hear you. And, until recently, I felt the same way you do. What all of the people who have spoken to your post don't realize, is that there AREN'T many butches here. And, the few that are here, are either already partnered or dating other butches.

This is Canada, where we have same/sex privileges in abundance. But, the number of femme to butch ratio is about 50 to 1. And then, that 1 is usually an andro butch.

So, it is true my dear. We can attend functions, dances, pub night in Langley, Rascals play parties, and perhaps a single, Top, stone, Daddi might appear. We can dream, right? lol

Give me a shout if you wish. We can organize a femme tea???

Candice

[QUOTE=fever;492551]letter, I hear you. And, until recently, I felt the same way you do. What all of the people who have spoken to your post don't realize, is that there AREN'T many butches here. And, the few that are here, are either already partnered or dating other butches.

***i very much agree with this statistic... i'm a realist. and this is a very realitic point of view.

Letter
 

What you're feeling isn't unique..Everyone feels like this intermittently throughout our lives because it's in our dna to bond..it's hard to make peace with something that is very persistent..but if it's meant to be, it will happen..meanwhile as Snow said you are not dead there are all kinds of "things" you can find to amuse yourself..just be open to life, stay sweet and positive..Work on doing somethings that interest and excite you..

**note to self...crash femme tea party** ;) Am just a hop, skip and a jump over the border :)

Femme tea goodies
 

Scuba, come on up! You are too funny. It will be the femmes hopping and skipping should you arrive, especially if you are on that motorcycle.

You have no idea what potential you have about the 49th!

You made me smile tonight. How was your Christmas party? Pictures???

oops, off topic. Gemini trait.

ciao,
Candice