Big Butch Love
 

:goodpost: Amiyesiam

Ol' Jet,
Color me confused with this thread based on your statements in the Big girl thread. Also, I wonder if you see yourself as misrepresenting your present self/weight with your picture slide that's in your signature line? Are those current pictures?

I could have sworn I saw a post . oh well

I can only hope that no Big people ever consider getting with someone
who wants to help them work on their weight or anything else that the other
person deems worth fiximg.
Two different people in the Big girl thread said just that and wonder why the other person left?
Gee, I wonder.

To respond to your question Dude, my photo's are 2008-09. I'm sorry my post confused you. I opened this thread for butches who may want to express themselves regarding weight. So I'm disappointed that you felt my post was inappropate in a thread that clearly focuses on*Big Butch Love. Personally, I'm sensitive about my weight because something is wrong medically. On another note, I was deeply involved with a BBW and don't feel its necessary to defend it any more than what I expressed in Big Girl Love. I'm sorry if my views are disagreeable. They weren't intended to offend anyone.

Just so I understand, you get a "get out of jail free" card because your weight is related to medical issues? So that means the rest of us with weight issues dont? And as I recall in the other thread you were incensed that the woman misrepresented herself online if Im not mistaken and yet you post an old pic of yourself??? Ya know if it walks like a duck...you know the saying. I am sure you wont be able to own this Jet, but I think it takes a LOT of chutzpah to go into the Big Girl thread and be insensitve to weight issues and then start this one. Think about it. But Im sure you have the perfect defense for this. What you did in that other thread was hurtful to a lot of women. Just own it. And Mods, if I stepped out of line, Im sorry. But Im only saying what everyone has been grumbling about. Us fat chicks choke on a lot of shit in our day to day lives and and I just cant swallow this one down.

Jewel

June, let me thank you for stepping knowing the real story behind the scene we talked about.

I want to clarify: This is about butch body image and weight issues.
My earlier post about my personal relationship with a BBW should have no relevance here, but I'll clarify anyway: I loved her for her, without figuring her weight into the equation. I was never incensed about her weight, just surprised since I had met her sight unseen. Nowhere did I say I was incensed.

Attractive is attractive regardless of weight, I've made that clear in earlier posts. My belief is that its how you present and carry yourself. Now, I apologize again if my posts or stance has tipped the insult scale. I didn't mean to offend anybody whatsoever.

And for the record, my pics are as current as 10.09 and I look like shit without a get out of jail FREE card. I have issues with my weight and I'm trying to deal.

Hey Jet - do you think you can stay out of trouble for 5 minutes out here at a time, buddy? I doubt it - that's what you get for revealing anything personal about yourself - why put yourself in this vulnerable, word-swapping game?

You say and intend one thing and it will always be turned around by the ones who have never heard your voice, how you speak, what your values are... those that don't know you. There's always two sides to every story and they are going to pretend like they know what the other side is, regardless of reality... so why put yourself out here as a target? Censor yourself - that's what they are asking - don't give any personal opinions, for crying out loud, speak in vagueness... in third person. As in...

I once knew this guy who worked out regularly, was into body building... and then hit mid-life - and then whammy - it happened! and he became very disillusioned, concerned that something was medically wrong... he felt as if he wasn't as attractive to the femme's anymore, it bothered his self-esteem... blah, blah...

Ok, ok... lol - I told you what I did when I gained too much weight. What was too much weight for me, well - that's personal... we all have an ideal body weight and know when our knees are hurting from carrying too much, our heart is working too hard, we don't fit into our clothes, we can't physically do what we used to be able to...etc. in some cases, such as yours might be - it could be a variety of things? For starters, you need your blood titer levels looked at first to see what's going on there and then make decisions based on what they say.

And, as far as finding a girl who is going to love you just the way you are... have faith - she's out there somewhere...

You're a great pal, Kam :goodpost: and I appreciate the advice. You know me always jumping in head first. Thanks for coming in with your much appreciated .02.

Kam, I think there's enough tinder around here that throwing gas isn't necessary.

I know you're probably trying to stand by Jet's side but considering the circumstance I don't think get people re-riled is going to help.

I get that what you've said sometime happens... but there's also where misunderstandings get fixed through a little honest explanation and open mindedness... moving on leaving space for people to be able to get back to business at hand.

That'd be great to see in this thread.

Metropolis

ETA: Your post was not reported but I'm (semi)-moderating it at my own discretion as it seems to me to be purposely inflammatory

I am speaking personally to my good buddy, did he seem inflamed?, no - it calmed him down - my intention. We have created a thread to talk to one another as how we normally speak in our everyday conversations on a particular topic... what are you asking?

I understand you were speaking to your good buddy... and I'm not asking anything Kam, as a moderator of this forum I was speaking to you about your post I felt was inflammatory to the immediate situation at the time you made it... specifically these lines...

You may have been speaking to your good buddy... but you were speaking about "they they they".. so your comments were hardly limited to him.

If you have any further questions about this feel free to PM me, and as I said allow this thread to get back to it's original intention.

Metropolis

Jet - You remember how I told you that I got up to 210 or so at one time, I carried the weight ok, but, had always been around 160 or so and decided to diet? And, BTW - I read an article recently where exercise has little to do with weight loss... what do you think about that? When I lost the 1 - 2 1/2 pounds each week for a year to get back to where I had been for years, exercise was not a part of the weight loss program.

It's all in what you eat and when. I incorporated a "modified-Atkins" as I call it - it worked for me. You have to cut back on the carbs to send the body into the fat reserves. I drank a 1 carb shake for breakfast, not all the time but some of the time, my biggest carb meal for lunch and more protein than carbs at night... and any of the non-carb foods anytime that I wanted to.

There's even this guy who has a diet out now that I think should work too, where you eat low carbs two days on and on the third day you eat what you want to. Losing weight is a slow and gradual process, if you do it too quickly, it's a shock to the body and painful - once you start steadily going into the fat reserves, the body gets used to it and accepts it.

I know you started a special diet a while back, Jet... tell us about it?

Well, the first thing that I think is blowing my dieting are my PTSD meds, the side effects are weight gain— BIG TIME. Secondly, I know my my cortisol is out of control. The reason I hit the weights more now is because muscle "eats" fat if you will. So everything is in conjunction with everything else, yanno? I'm not giving up, but I really think I need a doc's advice on some things. And I totally agree with your diet which is why I've gradually cut my carbs way down.

When you told me what you were eating... I knew you were headed for trouble, but - what can we do but be supportive, you were 'hot to trot' on this new diet... and I'm not the type to say... 'I told ya' so!'

You've got to eat 1 piece of bread a day and that's it - in the bread department, I remember that much... and very little sugar, and eat the pasta for lunch... and it'll hurt like hell - your body will think you're starving and hold onto your fat reserves for the first week or so... and then it starts accelerating when it gets used to the fact that your aren't dying afterall... lol

You have to look at genetics too... I had a tall, skinny father, and my brother who is 10 years older is all lean... but, me and my sister look like football players.

So, are your meds making you want to eat more?

not feelin' the love
 

This is less like "Big Butch Love" and more like "Butch Fat Panic".
Not feelin' the love, yo.
:crybaby:

Well... there are other threads... do you have any 'love' to contribute or just driving by to shoot, Cyclopea?

All:

Folks need to stop picking at each other and engage with one another thoughtfully.

I know this thread is a difficult subject, especially when, clearly, we are all not at the same point in our journey. We are all going to have to recognize this in order to coexist.

Fat is a touchy subject because some folks turn it inward. It becomes self-hatred, something to be excised, worked out, exorcised even.
For others, fat isnt evil or ugly. It is just a part of their existence.

It is often very button-pushing for folks who dont have a problem with their body size to see other folks having a problem with their own body size. Especially if they are fat.
It pushes buttons because it says to them "Well hell, if they hate their OWN fat that much, what do they think of mine?"

This is one angle to consider. Not the only angle.

I also want to say that this thread is entitled "Big Butch Love". I suggest that we all need to find positive ways to show love for Big Butches.

There is a great amount of support for Big Butches to be found in this community. Let's make sure we are seeking support in ways that dont hurt. Learning to love yourself is a journey and it is often scary. Tell the truth and reach out...and be kind when doing so.

On a final note, we have had multiple reported posts from this thread tonight. I want everyone to TALK to one another. Stop sniping. Stop shutting down. And stop thinking you have all of the answers.

Much Love,
Admin

Yes, I have plenty of love to contribute. I try to love my body - or as someone said geniusly somewhere "my earth vessel" for all it's flaws and foibles. I thought that's what this thread was for. There are plenty of threads and venues on this site for weight loss support. The title of this thread "Big Butch Love" promises enjoyment and acceptance of the bigger butch. Perhaps even a place for those who enjoy a big butch. All this talk about desperately needing to diet for butches who are moderately chubby? Not at all the same as loving big butches. Does that make sense?

Gawd I wub you Cyclo :):aslIloveyou:

It makes perfect sense. But my discomfort over my weight issue does equate or apply to someone else. My weight is NOT OKAY with me; it's costing me money for new clothes and something is wrong medically that needs to be addressed. These are valid points in my life, not yours[/U] and I resent the comment fat panick when it could be a health issue at 53. I'm entitled to set standards for my life and my body, alone, no one else's. The thread was started to see how butches might see, feel and express themselves as butches on the subject of weight. And yeah, I am positive for them no matter what they look like. Weight, looks and other surface noise would never enter into a friendship with them or treat them in any manner that made anyone feel "less than". But having been made to feel that way today myself, I'll step out and leave this thread to y'all who are supportive and loving towards big butches.

MMMMMMMMMM
 

Just dropping by to give a shout out to all those yummy and delish Butches of more than average proportions... not that I don't like slimmer Butches but there is nothing more comforting than being wrapped up and sheltered in the arms of ... well, yanno :eyebat:

Yes, I'm sorry, Cyclopea... I didn't realize you thought the thread theme was supposed to be carried out in a specific and certain way... you're absolutely right. I think I'll bow out too, maybe there's a coloring book in the Arcade that allows us to color outside the lines?

My intent is not to attack you. And I should have tread more gently entering a thread where you already felt defensive. I respect your feelings and your weight loss and health needs. I think the dissonance started with the title of the thread which promised enjoyment and acceptance of big butches. In that regard, striving to be different than as one is, rather than to be loved as one is, is in disagreement with the title of the thread. I hope that makes sense. Again, no disrespect was intended to you, and I apologize for posting bluntly. I wish you the best, and hey, maybe if some Big Butch Appreciation follows this rocky start, it may be healthy for even moderately chubby butches who are freaked and despairing at age related or other changes, to see that some appreciate them just how they are.
Thank you for listening.
I am butch, btw. But generally Butch Love-ers come in all stripes.

Thank you darling!
:heartbeat:

Mmm me too Kate. I love them fluffy bois :)

Your post is welcomed and accepted and I'd like to shake hands on it in our respect and words toward one another. Thanks.

Well TD, I'm about ready to post a pic from december and they suck. About clothes, I struggle...dress clothes for my work are expensive, or they can be and it's disheartening to buy clothes and find a month later I can't wear them. It's rapid weight gain and I'm concerned. I'd like to throw on a pair of bib overalls and be done with it, but i can't corporate style.
Thanks for participating in the thread.