What Cracked You Up Today?
Ok, I looked and couldnt find this thread so if it exists already I apologize.
I just cracked up because Jack accidentally pushed the wrong #s on the tv remote and it asked her if she wanted to pay per view a show called "Filthy Suck Sluts 2". She yelled at me "BAAAAABBBEEEE, you need to get this porno shit OFF OF MY FUCKING TV" so she proceeds to flail her arms and push multiple buttons and another show pops up. This time its "Big Horny Wet Asses 7" She yelled again, "BAAABBBEEEEEEE, there's some WET ASSES and shit on the tv and I WANT IT OFF OF THERE" and by this time, I was laughing so hard that I could barely see the tv anyway. So she whips her head around at me while I was bent over laughing behind her and she says, "BAAABBBEEEEEE, isnt there a way to block this shit? I dont want the family coming over here at Christmas and being embarrassed by Filthy Fisting Whores or Slutty Gooch Suckers...I mean, THIS SHIT IS NOT IN THE FUCKING HOLIDAY SPIRIT" ROTFLMAOOOO |
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Yeah. You don't want the family to see "Big Horny Wet Asses 7" because it's really not as good as "Big Horny Wet Asses 3" and "Big Horny Wet Asses 4". Damned sequels. :threadneedspics: |
https://www.bordergatewayprotocol.ne...imations/1.swf
Warning - explicit language. Courtesy of an old school buddy of mine who at times, makes me "miss" home. LOL |
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Ok Medusa that was great! Thank you!
:freak: ((this gal doens't look like she's freaking, just laughing real hard to me O_O)) i so needed that this morning |
Me (talking to a friend at work yesterday) - How are you gentlemen?
Him - All your beer are belong to us. Me - Oh noes! Not my beer in a bucket! Him - Watch it, or else ceiling cat will take all beer AND buckets away from you. Me - So, I CAN'T has cheezeburger? Him - No, however you can bake me more of those pumpkin cookies. Me - THEN can I has cheezeburger? Him - I thought you wanted beer? Me - Not really, I have some PBR in my fridge still. |
I crack up constantly at the stuff NJFemmie finds to torment me with. Sure, she posts it "for everyone" but I secretly know it's just to make me :spit:
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My friend Mel who got drunk and wasted and passed out at my place. Her husband's all pissed off. Asshole. Ha!
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roflmccao
ok so this morning i get this text message from daughter that says:
Text: Hey don't say anything but guess who is still together after all the shit between them....... :hamactor: :hamactor: :hamactor: and then nothing so i get nosey and start texting ' :deepthoughts: who.. who....... :confused: her response: your buttcheeks :rofl: i have been laffing all day |
Lookin' out my back patio door tonight and seein' one of our friendly neighborhood raccoons chillin' on my patio eatin' a big 'ol grilled STEAK! :wtf: Where the hell did he get a STEAK? :rofl: And why did he bring it to MY back patio to eat it? :simplelaugh: I guess some of the other neighbors are feedin' him and his friends better than I am! :danglecarrot: Not sure if the neighborhood cats were happy that he wasn't eatin' their catfood I put out for them, or jealous that he had a steak! :giggle:
Wonderin' what his opossum friends might bring to the party? :D |
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What happens if you don't have "saggy bums"? Jus' askin'.... cause I "ain't got NO bums at all!!" Flat as a pancake it is!! ... guess I'm SOL.... AGAIN! Bummer!! I'm just plain BUMMED OUT!! |
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Cyndi Lauper..
"Muggles are wizards.. Muggles are wizards" |
my never ending faith in humanity is now a source of hilarity to me. ripped off to the tune of $300, almost out of coffee, and definitely out of ideas...
all i can do is laugh what else is there? :cracked: |
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Damn! That sucks! |
So I have a new apt manager and she is HOT... Ive been by before and we talked for awhile and we both love dogs... She showed me hers well her dog LOL and asked me to bring Simon by. So today I decided on my day off to walk down with him to the office.
We walk in and she is cooing and loving on him complimenting on what a wonderful sweet cute dog he is... And then Simon does it he sticks his nose right in between her tits and buries his face there... I start pulling on the leash calling to him Simon stop son... She is giggling and saying its alright, and Im thinking in my head you cant blame the dog he is smart after all LOL A few minutes go by we talk as Im paying rent, and she comes to love on him some more as we are sitting on the couch in the office... he puts his head right back between her tits... ( she has a low cut shirt on) this time without thinking I take my hand and go to move his head and grab her tit. Embarassed as all get out I jump up and start heading for the door and trip ono Simons leash... Im ready to just dig a hole and bury myself... She is making sure Im ok and with a smile on her face she says, all this because you touched my tit ? LOL we both start laughing and I explain I wasnt trying to get fresh with her I was trying to correct my dogs inappropriateness... LOL |
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You, Gemmie, CRACK ME UP!!! |
Waking up this morning to Jackhammer sucking on my back :|
:rofl: |
thanks for reminding me, violaine!
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