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-   -   Why can't common sense and good will be more, well, common? (http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=464)

Linus 12-04-2009 03:42 PM

Why can't common sense and good will be more, well, common?
 
:overreaction: Seriously. Why are we only polite for a day or two out of the whole year? Why can't we have that kind of generosity and kindness year round (sans the consumerism)? This popped into my head as I was doing research for a course I'm teaching next week. I'm listening to holiday music with the window open (it's fairly mild here in NYC) and cranking the music louder and louder to drown out the cars honking on our little narrow street trying to move forward. And it just struck me as one of those little Why? questions.

I kinda wish I had huge speakers I could aim towards the street in hopes that perhaps people might realize that patience, politeness and good cheer can go a long way to making the day better than honking unnecessarily (seriously if you haven't moved in the last 5 min of honking you've done, it's probably time to change tactics). :soapbox:


Sigh.

Good will and happiness to all, all year long and beyond. :praying:

Apocalipstic 12-04-2009 03:49 PM

Ohh I so agree!

It seems insane to see people fighting over Christmas presents in store and the blowing of horns really freaks me out.

Peace and Harmony! :)

MrSunshine 12-04-2009 03:50 PM

I think people in the world just need more Valium. It's a cure all for every type of assholeyism.

Andrew, Jr. 12-12-2009 09:04 PM

It reminds me of the movie "It's a Wonderful Life".

Some people are happy being evil, nasty, miserable, and mean. I say find joy in life. :anothersnowman: :smelling-flower:

Love,
Andrew

Diva 12-13-2009 01:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deadyboy (Post 16482)
I think people in the world just need more Valium. It's a cure all for every type of assholeyism.



Yes, I agree.....perhaps cranky assholettes should be issued a valium drip for various levels of asshattery.....

The more one shows their ass, the bigger & more frequent the drip.

:nurseshot:

NJFemmie 12-15-2009 02:40 PM

Paying it forward.....
 
So, I had to get the oil changed on my car today... had my coupon in my pocket and was ready to go. I go to pull out said coupon to give them a call before I left work - and behold - I lost my damn coupon. So ... I jumped online, found their site and printed two new ones ... thinking Mare needs to get Her truck done too.

I walk into the place and it's just me, and two other men. The older gentleman sat next to the younger one and stirred up a conversation. Turns out the old fella had a bunch of different coupons and gave the guy one for his tire change.

Old fella sits next to me and asks "so ... what are you in for?" After a slight chuckle I reply - "oil change". He says "oh, that's what I am getting done, sorry I only have one coupon for that...." I had my own, it was all good.

I reach in my pocket and hand him my $10 off coupon to replace his $7 off one. Hey, three bucks is three bucks. He was kind enough to share what he had - and you don't see that kind of kindness too often anymore. And ... maybe he can hand his $7 off coupon to someone that doesn't have one.

Reminded me that good will is not long gone, it merely gets lost in the shuffle. It takes the action of one to create a snowball effect.

Gemme 12-15-2009 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NJFemmie (Post 21847)
So, I had to get the oil changed on my car today... had my coupon in my pocket and was ready to go. I go to pull out said coupon to give them a call before I left work - and behold - I lost my damn coupon. So ... I jumped online, found their site and printed two new ones ... thinking Mare needs to get Her truck done too.

I walk into the place and it's just me, and two other men. The older gentleman sat next to the younger one and stirred up a conversation. Turns out the old fella had a bunch of different coupons and gave the guy one for his tire change.

Old fella sits next to me and asks "so ... what are you in for?" After a slight chuckle I reply - "oil change". He says "oh, that's what I am getting done, sorry I only have one coupon for that...." I had my own, it was all good.

I reach in my pocket and hand him my $10 off coupon to replace his $7 off one. Hey, three bucks is three bucks. He was kind enough to share what he had - and you don't see that kind of kindness too often anymore. And ... maybe he can hand his $7 off coupon to someone that doesn't have one.

Reminded me that good will is not long gone, it merely gets lost in the shuffle. It takes the action of one to create a snowball effect.

This made me happy and I didn't even GET a coupon, whether $7 off or $10! :)

Jet 12-15-2009 08:25 PM

people are crazy and things are getting crazier

Andrew, Jr. 12-15-2009 09:17 PM

I believe in paying it forward, but people are just too sick or crazy nowadays to even do that. Heck, good samaritans are no longer even thinking of being good samaritans any longer. :help: It's sad. Times sure have changed, and not for the better imho.

Personally, I think everyone should volunteer at Christmas or Thanksgiving. And involve homeless children. It opens up hearts and minds.

SassyLeo 12-15-2009 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NJFemmie (Post 21847)
So, I had to get the oil changed on my car today... had my coupon in my pocket and was ready to go. I go to pull out said coupon to give them a call before I left work - and behold - I lost my damn coupon. So ... I jumped online, found their site and printed two new ones ... thinking Mare needs to get Her truck done too.

I walk into the place and it's just me, and two other men. The older gentleman sat next to the younger one and stirred up a conversation. Turns out the old fella had a bunch of different coupons and gave the guy one for his tire change.

Old fella sits next to me and asks "so ... what are you in for?" After a slight chuckle I reply - "oil change". He says "oh, that's what I am getting done, sorry I only have one coupon for that...." I had my own, it was all good.

I reach in my pocket and hand him my $10 off coupon to replace his $7 off one. Hey, three bucks is three bucks. He was kind enough to share what he had - and you don't see that kind of kindness too often anymore. And ... maybe he can hand his $7 off coupon to someone that doesn't have one.

Reminded me that good will is not long gone, it merely gets lost in the shuffle. It takes the action of one to create a snowball effect.

I was buying cat food the other day and realized the coupon I had was for the xlarge bag and I only needed the small bag. There was a guy buying the same food as I was in the xlarge bag, so I offered it to him. He said sure and thanked me. $3 is $3!

Vlasta 12-15-2009 09:54 PM

I really must be getting old or ancient . I used to be pissy about a lot of things . For example, I do have a long commute to work and to a school . Not actually so much mileage , but insanity of the Atlanta traffic . I am always trying to beat a time to get to school or work .

Sometimes , I have some slow driver in the front of me . First, I suddenly start thinking come on and then immediately I am thinking what if this person is elderly , not feeling good or have something bad happen at home , a sick family member or whatever ?

Also , I don't think out there are so many people they are crazy , but time we are living in right now are crazy . People lost they jobs , houses in foreclosures , how to place food on table for family and much more .I feel people are so preoccupied with a basic needs right now that for some it's hard to overcome they stresses . By no means I am not saying it's ok to be rude and not to have a common courtesy to others , but a little understanding goes a long way too . ... just my opinion .

Duchess 12-15-2009 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deadyboy (Post 16482)
I think people in the world just need more Valium. It's a cure all for every type of assholeyism.

With a Seroquel chaser..:cheer:

Seriously, this thread is definitely food for thought. I do agree Linus that patience, politeness and good cheer can go a long way. Why stress over things we have absolutely no control over? :hangloose:


Duchess

Rockinonahigh 12-15-2009 11:19 PM

Good old fashion politeness is something not seen much these days with ppl in such a hurry to go hear and there.My grannie whould haunt me with threats of a good swating with a pecan tree switch if I was rude to anybody.I honestly am not shure ppl are taught maners like they use to..the world is just needing a hugh dose of prozack.
Rockin

Diva 12-16-2009 12:36 AM

I went to the store tonight....and in front of me was a woman buying Christmas for her child/children......her card didn't work. She was in tears.....

And it was a card of a friend and she couldn't remember the pin number. And then couldn't reach the friend.

I would have given ANYthing to have been able to afford to buy her stuff for her.......however, having been out of a job myself (my little private school closed and let us all go), I couldn't do it. I don't have small children anymore.....my daughter's getting Spaghettio's and chocolate! lol (And she's happy!)

I felt her pain and hated that I was helpless to do anything for her.



NJFemmie 12-16-2009 04:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duchess (Post 22046)
Why stress over things we have absolutely no control over? :hangloose:

I say this ALL the time. But there are times where one can feel and understand the frustration.


Quote:

Originally Posted by SassyLeo (Post 22034)
I was buying cat food the other day and realized the coupon I had was for the xlarge bag and I only needed the small bag. There was a guy buying the same food as I was in the xlarge bag, so I offered it to him. He said sure and thanked me. $3 is $3!

Right on! lol ... It's the simple gestures in life that really make a difference.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemme (Post 21989)
This made me happy and I didn't even GET a coupon, whether $7 off or $10! :)

Ever try to do something nice for someone and all you get is a nasty or negative response back? It's happened to me many times, and it makes me want to feel that it isn't even worth the effort to try and be nice to people.

I think it's all about response. If people were just a little more receptive in a positive way ... the negativity wouldn't be so contagious.

Diva 12-16-2009 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NJFemmie (Post 22157)
Ever try to do something nice for someone and all you get is a nasty or negative response back? It's happened to me many times, and it makes me want to feel that it isn't even worth the effort to try and be nice to people.

I think it's all about response. If people were just a little more receptive in a positive way ... the negativity wouldn't be so contagious.

Perhaps they were embarrassed.....I know that there is a certain amount of pride involved when asking for help. I hate having to ask for help myself. H~A~T~E I~T.

So if You offer help to someone who doesn't know You, perhaps it's the pride speaking, and not their heart at all.

It's worth the effort, NYJ, I know You know this......because someday, You're gonna try that one more time, and be welcomed with tears of thankfulness.


NJFemmie 12-16-2009 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diva (Post 22179)
Perhaps they were embarrassed.....I know that there is a certain amount of pride involved when asking for help. I hate having to ask for help myself. H~A~T~E I~T.

So if You offer help to someone who doesn't know You, perhaps it's the pride speaking, and not their heart at all.

It's worth the effort, NYJ, I know You know this......because someday, You're gonna try that one more time, and be welcomed with tears of thankfulness.


I can understand that - and usually that is the first thought that pops into my head. I hate asking for help, or being put in a position where I NEED help. It's an uncomfy feeling, yes.

*smile* I still do it no matter how they respond to it. It makes ME feel good inside. I usually get the :wtf: looks, and I just ignore it.

But some days... people just make me wanna go :kungfu::ninja: on their ass! lol

Semantics 12-16-2009 08:08 AM

I've noticed something a little different this year.

As someone who works a lot with social service agencies, I've found that people coming in and asking for help are especially grateful and humble this year in comparison to past years.

NJFemmie 12-16-2009 08:26 AM

Mare works in an incredibly busy retail store. On Black Friday, She was amazed how people were actually going out of their way to be extra nice.

She was saying that various people through out the day made it up to the register being short a few dollars/cents ... She said it was refreshing to see people digging into their pockets to lend a helping hand.

Jess 12-16-2009 10:41 AM

I love seeing the choice to just be kind in action!
My girl reminds me sometimes when I have " lost my manners".. It's kind of a joke with us, but it does make me more conscious of my interactions in the world.
Being one of those butch women who often get stared at.. whispered about, etc. I had found myself pulling away from the world at large, and it sometimes takes a bit of a deep breath for me to be comfortable enough to even offer a helping hand. Even then, I am sometimes just met with a blank stare as i can tell when whoever I am doing something for is "sizing me up".
Sometimes I need to be kind to folks as much for me as for them.

Great thread! Thanks!


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