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Unusual Living Arrangements?
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Do you fancy being in a marriage but living in separate houses? What about folks who have in-laws living with them? Live in a tree house with 5 cats? Live in a camper with your poly family? Tell me all about your unique living arrangements!! Even if it hasn't happened, what is your most desired way to live that falls outside the traditional? |
When I was a kid, there was a TV show called MacGruder and Loud. The premise was a married couple had to hide their relationship because they were also partners in law enforcement and would have to change partners. As part of their secret, they lived in adjoining condos. Since then, I've been interested in the idea of living together separately. While adjoining might be too close, same neighborhood sounds good to me. I've tried the living together and don't think it is for me. Maybe when I have a partner I will change my mind.
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I don't want to live with a partner. If I were to enter into a relationship, "together but separate" works for me. I'm too protective and private.
However, my daughter is currently in Japan living in a sharehouse with several people from all over the world. It's something like The Real World, without all the sex and foolishness (I hope). So far, so good: I enjoy watching her mind get blown and stereotypes demolished. There are more chores, and fewer people, than a typical college dorm. Maybe this is something all young people should be required to do for high school graduation (not sure how it would work, but there is a lot of supervision there). |
My father and stepmother lived separately but together for more than 3 decades. At one point, they were right next to one another on the same street and at another, they were one street over from one another.
He would come over and do the maintenance and outside stuff on her house and she'd send him home with a ton of food because that's how she nurtured people. It worked for them and even though I thought they were bananas when I was growing up, I can appreciate the brilliance of it all now that I have my own space. I would absolutely love to have this set up as long as my partner was within a reasonable distance. For me, that could be up to 2 hours away but most preferably around an hour or less. That's close enough to meet up whenever we want, any time during the week or as our schedules allow. |
I live with my ex who is now my BFF!
Now this didn't just happen overnight mind you. It took years, lots of hard work, and some counseling to get to this place. Also the fact we each lived in different states during this process didn't help either! |
I thought I was weird for wanting a "separate but together" arrangement, but it appears that I'm not!
I lived with my partner for 8 years, and finally hy had to move to take a job. It's just slightly too far away to make daily commuting viable. Then, hy was transferred and hys work assignment was moved even farther away. It was pretty traumatic for both of us when we decided the only option was a long-distance relationship, but it has worked out really well for both of us. Hy lives with hys son and grandson in a small town south of Atlanta, and enjoys spending time with them. I enjoy the freedom of living mostly/sort-of alone. I say I live mostly/sort-of alone because I have a submissive who spends the night at my house at least a couple of nights a week. He has his own room across the hallway from mine. I enjoy having him here when he's here, but I'm ready for him to go home when he goes home. My partner and my submissive both have chores they do around my house, as do I. My submissive and I share some expenses, but my partner does not. I spend as much time at my partner's house as hy spends at mine, so having hym pay for groceries and such doesn't seem fair. I never spend time at my submissive's house, however; it's just not convenient, and he has roommates who don't really understand the true nature of our relationship. The only thing I think that would make it more perfect is if I had one more submissive. It's really difficult in many way to have 3 people in a poly family, though, and 4 would make it exponentially harder. What I have right now really is almost perfect. For us to add a 4th person would require finding exactly the right person, and how hard is that? But I never say never. We've had a larger family at times, and it was wonderful, but it was also incredibly time consuming and required a lot of understanding and total commitment. And as I write this, I realize my living situation is about to change - I just haven't fully accepted it yet. My dad recently passed away, and my mother can't really be left alone. She lives a little over two hours away from my house, and I'm going to be spending every weekend for the foreseeable future at her house, Friday afternoon through Sunday morning. This is not ideal, but my partner and my submissive have both expressed their full support. I hope it doesn't wear on us as a family or individually. Oh, and I almost forgot my two other household members: Tiny Dog and Diva Kitty! They are always here for me. |
The best relationship I ever had lasted 7 years because we didn't live together. We spent a few nights a week at either her place or mine, went dancing/drinking on most weekends at a women's bar, enjoyed nights out or in. I learned a lot about showing my feelings from her. Something I'd never been able to do before her. I learned it was okay to wake up next to another, but also okay to wake up alone. She only asked that if either of us wanted to see others, we'd be honest and tell the other. When she got that 7 year itch, my heart was broken, but I never let on. Slowly the relationship ended and over time, we became friends.
I'll admit, I believe I am the one that screws up live together relationships. On top of that, I have found I lose a big part of me in living with a partner. I'm better being your roommate than partner. Love me from a distance, from across the street, around the block or in the same neighborhood and I can make a relationship last. |
I wouldn't say our living situation is unusual, more so mutually beneficial. My partner's sister is a single mother, and California is expensive. The four of us (she has a son) live in a 2 bedroom apartment with 5 cats.
It's a little cramped, but it made bonding super easy and fun (sister and I are only a year apart which is neat), and it's nice to have people around (but sometimes, I just want it quiet, lol). His sister will be moving in 6 weeks time for the military, and will be taking two cats. I will miss her, but I am ready for more space, more quiet, more peace, less mischievous cats :| |
"if i see a toothbrush, she has to go home" thats my motto.. no no no, this is my space and i am never giving it up again. Perfect scenario is a lifetime of dating someone in the next town, or a poly family situation where arrangements can be made for visits. |
I have solid plans to build a tiny house this summer. I have chosen a barn style structure, with french doors rather than a barn door. 16*20 ft with a loft master bed room. I plan to be as much off grid as possible, but completely off utilites.
In the past, I have owned large homes, at one point a 6 bedroom 3 bathroom bunglow home, with 2.5 car garage, next was a 1800 sq ft 4 bedroom house with 3 bathrooms.. now my 2 kids are grown, and out of home and I just cant justify the wasted money and space anymore. There are a few things that I found in common with each of these homes, huge bills to heat, huge electric bills as every light in the house seemed to be left on, way too much time spent cleaning floors walls baseboards toilets windows... and I would live in the haven of my bedroom aka office aka games room with attached bath.. I was always working insane hours to pay for this life yet i was house poor and unable to free up funds to do the things that make me happy, like travelling the world visiting with all you fine folk, doing things that matter most to me in 3rd world countries. So .. change is necessary, and I am going to have the most epic little house with little bills.. doing more of what I love to do! |
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My partner and I lived together for 2 years and then we decided it would be better for our relationship to live apart. We've been doing that for almost 3 years now. I couldn't imagine living with anyone ever again.
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I overlooked this thread somehow and just found your tiny house post today!
For the first time yesterday, I recorded a bunch of Tiny -House Luxury shows from HGTV. I was really impressed with everything that they could do. I previously had a house that was 2500 square feet with my long term ex, sold that, moved to a small house that was 950 sq ft and now I am in a 750 sq foot furnished apartment. I got rid of so much stuff when I sold my 950 sq footer. I was looking around yesterday, thinking, ""I don't have much left but there is more I can get rid of". It was painful when I sold my house to pare down to the minimal but other than photo albums that I gave to my youngest, I really can't say that there is anything that I miss anymore. I think that I could live in a tiny house. It would need to be one level though, the knees are not what they used to be. It is the land that would be the issue. I do love California but land is pricey. I would have to figure that one out. I love that you are going to have your epic tiny house. It sounds wonderful! Quote:
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For the winter months this year, I rented a little cottage out on the lake. Beautiful lake, tourist town, but in the winter, it is only the locals with a real comfy feel. The cottage was a little 2 bedroom, wood throughout, little bit rustic, very small but cosy. The back deck was larger than the living space inside. I purged so much moving in to this space! I have been a pack rat most of my life, a result of being homeless in my early teens, so I held on to everything after having nothing. This past weekend, I moved out of the cottage and am trying out the comforts of a motorhome (kind of feels like Glam Camping, all the luxury's but little bills) for the summer months while getting ready to build, and oh wow, more purging. Today I was looking through some of the things that I 'had to have' and Im now just a few days later say.. 'and why do I have to have that?' It really is getting easier to let go of stuff.
Anya, I have heard of some really neat places in Oregon, tiny home communities, and I am sure that there has to be some in California.. (I wouldn't want to leave there if that was my home either) I will let you know if I come across any in my search. Honestly, in so many ways this feels epic and exciting, I dont know why I waited so long. |
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