Random Thoughts
I kinda wanted a place on the planet where I could just get out some random thoughts. I think a lot about stuff sometimes. Maybe someone can relate or has an equal beef or possibly just understands.....
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Things Will Never Be The Same...
She took you away...
And you died... All I can see in my mind is that she killed you... and...things will never be the same... I miss my friend... I miss my playmate... I miss my companion... and...things will never be the same... To this very day... I still cry when I think about your wagging tail... I still cry when I think about the walks we will never take... I still cry when I realize I will never see you again... and...things will never be the same... |
I can relate.
My thoughts are nothing if not random. |
I second that emotion:spruceup:
:tanning:Lillie:tanning: |
Another one down...
Today was kinda long.....and tedious......i just keep shaking my head. Today was a day. I worked my ass off...and tried to help some people make sense of stuff so it would get done and done right and it didn't. People wouldn't listen to me..... I am so glad they aren't going to be on my route. I'm just helping out to get some hours. I'm going to be a team lead when the I am on my own route. Just.....if I never see another bandaid tonight. Or antifungal cream. I don't envy jock itch....lol I'm doing a Walgreens reset and well.....after I'm done with this, I won't be going in a Walgreens for a while.
I thought a lot today about love... How magical it is for me... How hopelessly romantic I am... How Mother's Day is coming up and how I don't want my to stepmother to go through the day without getting a call from me. I'm so bad about remembering. Is it my meds? Cuz....I can name the Star Trek episode by the teaser.....Next Generation anyway. Oh please someone save me from Walgreens........ |
Another day...
I'm up early today. Not sure why. Yesterday was rather eventful but not in a good way. I'm going to help a friend to get off drugs. This isn't going to be easy.
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Crazy week...
My week is full of overtime. Good for my wallet. I really wish the overnight position was a go. I could have dealt with some overnights....and sleep during the day.
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All this overtime...
...is killing me. I'm not as young as I used to be. My knees aer killing me. what a hard floor. OMG! This is crazy...and even a Sat shift.....yikes....I'm gonna be dead before this job is done. And there's gonna be nothing I can do about it.
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Stranger Than Fiction
It's stranger than fiction
How you've decayed It must be so lonely Lost within your ways You're born alone, you die alone The rest is yours to fill the gap The world goes on without you here Adjust or just collapse Is this what you wanted to be Alone standing by yourself Is this all you wanted to be Or was that a cry for help By yourself, by yourself, by yourself Verbal grenades You throw in vain I can't believe you'd stoop so low Of all the things you took away I miss my mind the most Is this what you wanted to be Alone standing by yourself Is this all you wanted to be Or was that a cry for help By yourself, by yourself, by yourself Is this what you wanted to be Alone standing by yourself Is this all you wanted to be Or was that a cry for help! It's stranger than fiction How you've decayed It must be so lonely Lost within your ways |
Stabbing Westward - Save Yourself
I know your life is empty
And you hate to face this world alone So you're searching for an angel Someone who can make you whole I can not save you I can't even save myself So just save yourself I know that you've been damaged Your soul has suffered such abuse But I am not your savior I am just as fucked as you I am just as fucked as you I can not save you I can't even save myself So just save yourself Please don't take pity on me Please don't take pity on me Please don't take pity on me Please don't take pity on me My life has been a nightmare My soul is fractured to the bone And if I must be lonely, I think I'd rather be alone I think I'd rather be alone You can not save me You can't even save yourself I can not save you I can't even save myself Save yourself So just save yourself |
I miss you!!!!!
I miss you! I have no other way to say it. I just wish everything could be ok again. I'm really not sure what happened. I know you were holding things together so well but now I feel like you're in the witness protection program. It just isn't the same without you. Life doesn't feel the same without you there. And I know that is really a way that logically I should not feel, but I do. It just isn't the same without you. The only way I know how to put it. And, I hope beyond hope, that today is the day I will get to hear from you. But the days and weeks and months are adding up now and all I want to know is that you're ok........and that I can tell you you're ok. I know how it feels to be alone like this. I don't much like it.
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I truly believe that if you have faith and you show God you are willing to make the changes for which she is "worthy" that the opportunity will present itself and God will give you back that with which you love. I just did. After months of praying and being depressed and fighting it. I did. And I have to show God this. My new group of friends prayed with me the other night that I find a job. They want to go to church with me....and on the same note they wanna do karaoke and have beers and get silly. They are healthy friends.....I made that change. I let myself go out and face the world. It wasn't easy. And my behavior wasn't always good. But it's better than it was. I'm not perfect. At least that is how I feel about it. I was making positive changes in my life after mourning a great loss...but this one wouldn't be a permanent loss. It's nice to know that someone has some mutual feelings on this journey. I am definitely not alone.....although that was how it felt at the time. I wasn't about to let go. I hope that makes a little sense to you....because really......only YOU can decide for yourself how long you let the torch burn. Namaste, Jedi |
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ox |
And the torch still burns....
You disappeared again. I miss you. I miss how made me feel. I miss talking to you. making you laugh. I miss you so much. All I can hope is that you will come back to me. I look up at the starts at night and wonder where you are and how you are? Are we looking at the same stars? I wonder. It's been months again. And I wish I knew what happened to you. I miss you so. You know I want to marry you. So please don't be gone forever. I don't want to die alone.
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zombies
I'm really happy to be part of a forum group who seems to view (as far as I can tell so far) thread necromancy as a positive thing.
The other website that I'm utterly devoted to seems to frown upon it. <--- getting the lay of the land before barging in. P.S. If I'm wrong, would someone please be kind enough to tell me so I don't look like an idiot? Thanks |
It's been a long time since I've posted....
You mean the world to me...
This is all so complicated.... I just want to be home..... |
My random thoughts:
* I have really enjoyed this new show on OWN called "Addicted to Food" at the Shades of Hope Treatment Center. Brave souls. *Dino is a bed hog, and he snores louder and louder it seems. *I am wondering why my head is just hurting so badly? |
is this really goodbye?
why is it always so hard? why do you have to be so difficult? makes me cry....and long.....and wonder what could have been......what should have been.......all because life isn't the way you want it.
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Gaige and I are pondering who gets to decide which of the geese leads the flock in a V formation...
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