The mortuary thread
 

I know that I am not the only one fascinated by death. I am. Things that are curious to me are cremation, caskets, mortuary stuff, embalming, and so on.

Please feel free to post your thoughts and ideas here.

Namaste,
Andrew

When they cremate someone, what is left is called: Cremains

Cracks me up!

Then, if you are going to bury said cremains, you have to have the cremains filled urn buried in a mini vault. Which kind of resemble the Ark of the Covenant.

Hope you are not angry, I find funereal trappings amusing. :)

No, I'm not mad at all. I just find it hysterical all the names of everything. I am not one for words, and what I find out is amuzing.

Did you know that after one is cremated, that the body (bones) that are left still whole-ish are broken up? I thought these would burn down to ash as well.

Right "cremains"... that kinda cracks me up too.

I wasn't too sure that was correct but when calling to get a niche for my mom I had to use it.

I was like... "I need a spot for my mom's... umm... cremains?" She was like "Oh is she passed on?"... I'm like WTH? Of course she's passed on, why the hell else would she be cremains?

To top that off she's like "would you like to stay for the placement?"... I said "Well yeah I would think so." and she's like... "Well I ask because we have to take her out of the box because the box won't fit..."

(again WTH?)...

..."so we have to kind of squeeze the bag into the hole... "

:eek:

WTH? I'm thinking like well no, we probably rather not see that but I think we'd have to hang out just to make sure they didn't put her in a wonder bread bag and hide her in the wall... I mean for cripes sake.

Anyway, yep "cremains"... (and yep I placed her somewhere else).

What happened to Lisa?
 

Six Feet Under was a great show.

http://www.atunn.com/blog/uploads/six-feet-under.png

What are shadow people? I have only seen them out of the corner of my eye, and only at my last job.

reposted 'cause i fuckered up my edit. so, no editing.

Cremating at the optimum temperature (1400-1800 degrees), the average weighted remains takes 2 to 2 1/2 hours

I thought it mostly burned too, I wanted to look at my Father's cremains, but the funeral home dude found us trying to open the urn and said he had just glued it shut!

Ha, no, she is still alive. WTH indeed! :freak:
Its kind of a heavy plastic bag with a seal with a number on it. I did not know they did not put the urn or box in the wall niche.

Great story!



It was a wonderful show, I especially liked when they showed actual funerals.

Urns on the back porch, I see you are fitting right in to the South! :)

I always wanted a hearse!

Once, (not at band camp) I saw a convertible hearse in Detroit, I almost wrecked my car laughing!

Six Feet Under is still one of my favorite shows. It goes right up there next to the Sopranos, my most favorite show evah.

I went to a funeral home once with my Sunday School group. It was so cool. We spent most of our time in the embalming section. It was just overwhelming. And at the time, I think we were in 4th grade. I do believe that the younger you are, the more prone you are to spirits.

I told the wife when I die...give every part of me away you can give away...Her response was..and what do I do with the leftovers?...........my reply was "surprise me!"

People seem to to feel we need to do some very expensive ritualistic things regarding death and said memorializing of the cremains, remains...
First embalming is not required....why would anyone opt to put more chemicals into the earth? and who the hell needs to dig u up in 40 years to see if your embalming has kpet you looking like what? dead?

Then there are the " underground cement vaults" you can buy one for 250 dollars that is not very pretty looking or you can spend 850 dollars on one that "is sealed and guaranted leak proof" Ok so my question was...So how am I gonna now if it leaks or not? The deceased going to call me and complain?

Then there are the caskets.....wood is more expensive...metal is cheaper..fiberboard....is the cheapest.......but not very pretty.....and once again...my response is...."And who is it exactly that is mourning the death of this person do we need to impress? And here we go with the "sealing issue" the more expensive ones are air tight......well goodness yes lets get one fo those..dont want the deceased getting a breath of air now do we "rme"

and then the cushioning inside the casket......cracks me up will the deceased actually ummm get an ache in his back if only laying on a 1/2 inch cushion instead of a 2 inch one?



Now the gross part to me is what funeral people do to make the body look "presentable" ping pong balls where they eyeballs are....super glue the eyes shut (no they dont naturally close) superglue the mouth shut....cotton filled mouths to maintain the "natural facial features" makeup so u cant see the ....loss of color since all the blood has now followed the direction of gravity.....and numerous other grossies..and I have to pay to have thsi done to a loved one for what reason?

So when people come tothe viewing....they can say "He/she looks good" No he/she looks dead...and that is ok cause he/she is!
Never have understood why people say some of the dumbest things at a viewing:
"he/she looks good...compared to what? How the person looked when they were alive?

"he/she has never looked better" better than what?

"He/she looks so peaceful"................duhhhhhhh (did they think the body would be having a bad dream? or maybe i should have had the funeral people make the deceaseds face look like "the scream"





And when i die and u bury whats left... put these simple word on a piece of stone to remember me:

Dean Thoreau
born yes died yes
at last he sleeps alone! :rainsing:

Back in the nursing days I was on the Code team--I've seen a lot of death. One time we pronounced an elderly woman, she was taken to the morgue, when I came in the next morning she was in the ICU. The funeral home people found her taking shallow breaths. That kind of freaked me out!

I've seen many autopsies, I'm fascinated by the body.

A different reaction
 

I don't want to rain on anyone's parade, but I felt devastated when I saw this thread. I come to this site to escape the pain I'm going through over losing my mother to cancer four months ago and losing my father in a horrible, tragic accident almost three years ago. It's Christmas and all I can think about is that this is the first Christmas with both of my parents gone.

I understand that these are my issues, and after I post this I'll make a polite exit out of this thread. However, I am posting because I know I can't be the only person who felt hurt and upset upon seeing it. I've been a nurse for 22 years and understand gallows humor and natural curiousity about death. I've seen plenty of dead bodies firsthand, but right now I can't forget that most recently it was my mother that I was sitting with while she gasped and took her last breath.

I just hope that people on this site, and specifically in this thread remember that things that don't bother us at a certain point in time might be triggers for other members.

thanks for reading,
unn

Unn first I'll say I'm very sorry for your loss, I lost my mom last year so I do have some idea what you're going through.

Death is a very touchy subject, taboo even to some... and we all deal with it differently... I don't think this thread is all about gallows humor. For me the story I told was pretty much a very painful true experiance that I was able to finally kind of laugh about here and thus let go of some of that pain.

As I said we all deal with things differently...

Anyway Andrew started a "Grieving" thread that's been helpful to me and perhaps you may find some solice among those going through or having gone through similar things as yourself.

http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=80

I wish you peace
Metro

Funeral Museum
 

We have a great place here in Houston called the National Museum of Funeral History. It's a museum by the industry dedicated to the industry. I've been there a couple of times and what impressed me is that it's very well put together, tasteful and chock full of the most interesting things that relate to the industry. Among the things they have are small paper things, like advertisements, obituaries of famous people, and funeral home giveaways...a full mockup of a 1930's embalming room with all the equipment...a variety of caskets (antique) including a triple sized one that was specially made...and my personal favorites the hearses. They have not only vintage horse drawn hearses but about twenty motorized ones dating from the 1920's to the 1950's, all in like new condition. For car buffs its worth the trip just to see those. They have a website, but my link is not working so just punch in National Museum of Funeral History. Its a cool place, interesting and educational.

http://www.nmfh.org/

Unn,

So sorry this thread is hurtful to you.

I think all of us have experienced deep loss. My Mother died when I was 13 and we moved to the US the same week with her casket on the plane with us and my Dad died 11 months ago.

I have always been surrounded by death and I have chosen to look at the amusing parts.

We all process differently, and this is how I do. I hope that we can agree to disagree and just stay on different threads on this one subject.

In all respect!

Jen

OK, so the people from the funeral home where we had my father's funeral called this week, they want me to buy a casket and plan my own funeral.

Not the call I was wanting...:eatinghersheybar:

I guess since Walmart now carries caskets, they are having to beat the bushes to find victims? clients? what would one call it?