awkward moments at work...
 

So, today I wore my hair down because I was running late. A coworker I don't see on a regular basis and has expressed attraction to me in the past ( she has a man friend) notices my hair is down and squeals. I usually wear my hair up because it gets caught in/on stuff and is hot. So then, this coworker starts petting my hair. Then she runs her fingers through it like she's a stylist. Then she picks it up and lets it fall a couple time, saying "it's just so sexy." I'm in freeze mode. It was so awkward. All I could say was,"I'm going to pee now." I made a quick exit to the restroom.

Your turn. Share your uncomfortable or odd experiences in the workplace.

I take a LOT of medication, and because of them I'm a bit gassy:blush:

I was in my first week at the last place i worked, and my insides were begging for a private place to let go of some gas.

We had a lunch area with picnic benches in the back of a very large building, so at lunch i felt safe in going out the front door and taking care of my problem. Soon i had relief! Unfortunately, i didn't know the smokers slipped out a side door behind me to finish thier break.

I will have to say that the laughter was done quietly, and the snickers for the next two weeks were kept to a minimum. :blush: but boy, was my face red!

Couple or so years ago, a new developer was introduced to our area. Not on my team but he sat nearby. I let him get settled in for a couple of days, then went over to chat the following morning. Well, we started making smart ass programming jokes ... laughing and having so much fun. I don't remember how it came up but I said assembler programmers were always the strangest and weirdest people I had ever known. He was quiet for a few seconds ... then he told me his wife is an assembler programmer. I sat awkward and quiet a few seconds. There was not a shovel with a magic handle anywhere reachable ... impossible to dig myself out gracefully ... so I just said "oh" ... then I started making more obnoxious programming jokes and we picked right back up laughing ... I don't know what he was really thinking but I sure felt squirmy on the inside. :(

oh my....yet another great thread Grenade.. :)

few years back...I worked for the Department of Mental Retardation. I became friendly with an older lady that I worked with...

Well, she found out I was a lesbian and suddenly she had a thing for me. One night I was toileting a client. We had those nice big handicap stalls of course. So.....she comes in the stall as Im trying to get out and pinned me to the stall wall (ICK!!!!) and tried to kiss me!

I was grossed out and put out and just had to lay it down and tell her I had a girlfriend....which she already knew! It was just awkward from then on....

femmes do fart...
 

I will confess that I had a similar experience. I was in an informal meeting in a small office with 3 managers of my company. I was speaking with great enthusiasm and one slipped out. Everyone was silent for at least 30 seconds and then one of them opened the door.

So...I was working in the science department at a local university and spilled a chemical. Unfortunately I was not wearing a lab coat and the chemical, that had a pungent fishy odor, got on my clothing. Later in the day, I was chatting with a colleague who I may have had a crush on and I notice her wrinkling her nose. I mentioned the chemical that I spilled and she said "Oh, I was wondering what that smell was." For some reason, I never managed to ask her on a date, me being fishy and all. :-/

I drive one night a week for a Chinese Takeaway and the owner/chef is a hilariously funny guy. One night about 30 minutes before closing, we were cleaning up the kitchen area which is open to view from the counter and cash register.
We had the radio on and were singing along and generally acting the fool when Psy came on air singing 'Gangnam Style' ... there we were in the kitchen doing the dance steps to the song and singing loudly when 4 policemen walked in all serious.
"We've had a complaint", they said. Our faces went white and our jaws hit the floor as we stopped what we were doing and wondered if we should run out the back door.
All of a sudden the policemen cracked up and told us they had been stood outside looking in the window and decided to play the joke on us. Needless to say, from then on, we haven't danced around like fools to 'Gangnam'.

soo...

]I was talking to a co worker who is veryyy\]=
young...

We were talking about incontinence and I mentioned that I do kegels to hopefully prevent that in later life.. She knew what it was. She said, "Ohhh that makes your vagina really tight? Guys like that.."

Ummm yeah..that's what they are... :|

a few years ago I was getting into my patrol car when I hear a BIG rip the inseam of my uniform pants split... and yes I had a partner that night

The other day a client was making an appoinment and she said about my estetician " I need her to wax my lips and brow........... wait, let me reverse that, I need her to wax my brows and lip."

I giggled a little and then the client laughed. It went right over the receptionist's head. But then she got it when I mentioned something about a Brazilian.

I once accidentally sent a text ABOUT my boss, TO my boss. At work. When she was in the room across the hall from my office. It wasn't a nice text either, and I used her name in it.

I could overhear her talking to the other ladies about how inappropriate it was for the TV show "The Fosters" (about a lesbian foster family) to be on the ABC Family channel when children would be watching. This was one of the many things she was spewing about that day. She was on a tear.

So, yeah, I basically called her an ignorant prude and realized as soon as I pressed send who I had sent it to. I wanted to crawl under my desk and DIE! She immediately replied with "Yes she is! :)"....sarcastic of course. She basically ignored me for the rest of that week (would not even come down to my end of the hall!), and then she finally got over it and pretended like nothing ever happened.

many years ago when i worked for the dod, i ran a crew of about 25 guys or so. every freaking day, i would hear about their male genitalia, the size, last time it was used.....omg. weeks of this foolishness and I had enough. next time there was a joke about....... 'is that a ____ in your pocket or are you happy to see me?' i lifted up my long shirt......

back then, i packed every day, i said, "don't know about him, but i sure am."

you could hear a pin drop, faces turning red, stuttering and muttering. needless to say, not too much yap about their man bits in front of me after that.

oh god that was hilarious.

I was off site today for an event. I was sending picture texts to my boss of our booth.

At one point I received a text from her that was clearly meant for her other half. And, apparently they had a little quality time before she left for work this morning.

I texted back "uuuummmm, I don't think that was meant for me"

She texted "damn, I hate when that happens!"

Lol

this just in...
 

Sooo

Im at work...a resident's family is visiting. I get to the cubicle where we sit and document etc. I grab my phone from my "special OTHER pocket" and realuze just as I'm doing so I'm within sight of the dining room where the resident is visiting with their family... I look up...hand in bra...and meet the gaze of the residents wife. Doh!

not a good day for the coworker
 

This morning........
Our new patient said to coworker "you look familiar" she then ran down the list of places and people she might know coworker from.
She then says "I know I know you but I just can't place it"
Coworker finally says "you know me from Brian SoandSo"
Patient goes "oh.........well, you look good"

Turns out a few years ago when coworker was 8 months pregnant, patient had sex with her (now ex)boyfriend.

Later in the day...... same coworker, different patient.......

I was bringing a patient back and as we passed coworker, patient grabs at her tiny little pot belly and goes "What is this?? IS THIS A BABY BUMP?!?"

Coworker threw her hands up and took a lap.

my coworker mumbled that she would like to punch one of our ornery clients in the vagina :|

So last week my team had a holiday party so we flew everyone into the office. I was organizing the food etc. So I find out what kind of pizza everyone likes and then I get ready to place the order from my most favorite place...Pizza Orgasmica. So I had to ask our receptionist to please order me a large doggy style...which was just an all meat pizza.

For the second time.... I doused myself purty darn good with a shower thingy at work....two different houses mind you....

And I forgot to mention.... I nearly sarted my boobs on fire 2 weeks ago....yup. fun times...

Lol...dare I ask?