Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post

imperfect_cupcake · 09-19-2015, 07:11 PM

Of course I would only marry someone who blew my socks off and I knew for years, we travelled well together, we were sexually great together, had similar goals and values, and both of us fit the not living together dynamic I mentioned.

I didn't get married to six out of seven of my long term relationships. Of course they would have to be someone I wanted to be with through thick and thin.

I'm baffled that anyone would get married for anything less than someone who blew them out of the water and to someone who fit extremely well within your life. Isn't that why you wait at least five years before marrying someone? I know people who have waited 12 years.

Who is running off and getting married less than three years with someone? That's not the fault of marriage. That's the fault of letting romance get in the way of being well matched. Most of the reasons I see for people not wanting to get married (aside from political reasons) have to do with an asshole or bizarre expectations being involved, not that they found the practice of ritual public bonding to be at fault.

I understand political reasons.

But really, it's your marriage. You can make it into any form you want.

It can be open or group or monogamous or living together or living in different suites in the same house or across town or in a different country. You can have kids, no kids, fur babies or foster. Have separate vacations, travel together as a way to live and be nomads. Have a marriage be polyandrous (many husbands). Be circus performers together.

Marriage is really individual. I'm not going to be living with someone. And although I want to take some of my vacations with them, there will be long weekends I take on my own. My space is *mine* and their space is theirs and I would love to be an adored guest in their space and them an adored guest in mine. I lived in a group vegan house with 7 other queers and genderqueers who were mostly poly when my exwife and I were first married.
Just make it up as you go along. Fuck convention.

09-19-2015, 07:11 PM	#132
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,713 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Of course I would only marry someone who blew my socks off and I knew for years, we travelled well together, we were sexually great together, had similar goals and values, and both of us fit the not living together dynamic I mentioned. I didn't get married to six out of seven of my long term relationships. Of course they would have to be someone I wanted to be with through thick and thin. I'm baffled that anyone would get married for anything less than someone who blew them out of the water and to someone who fit extremely well within your life. Isn't that why you wait at least five years before marrying someone? I know people who have waited 12 years. Who is running off and getting married less than three years with someone? That's not the fault of marriage. That's the fault of letting romance get in the way of being well matched. Most of the reasons I see for people not wanting to get married (aside from political reasons) have to do with an asshole or bizarre expectations being involved, not that they found the practice of ritual public bonding to be at fault. I understand political reasons. But really, it's your marriage. You can make it into any form you want. It can be open or group or monogamous or living together or living in different suites in the same house or across town or in a different country. You can have kids, no kids, fur babies or foster. Have separate vacations, travel together as a way to live and be nomads. Have a marriage be polyandrous (many husbands). Be circus performers together. Marriage is really individual. I'm not going to be living with someone. And although I want to take some of my vacations with them, there will be long weekends I take on my own. My space is mine and their space is theirs and I would love to be an adored guest in their space and them an adored guest in mine. I lived in a group vegan house with 7 other queers and genderqueers who were mostly poly when my exwife and I were first married. Just make it up as you go along. Fuck convention.