Numb...Exhausted...My Father is at the ER and it is loaded with others too. My sister came home briefly to pick up food for my Mother and take it to her because she did not eat dinner before the ambulance came. Dad has a fever (greater than 101) and is being given Tylenol and antibiotic by IV. His lower abdomen is distended so they took both chest and abdominal X-rays. He is in and out of alertness. They did get a urine catch and took many vials of blood. They are saying infection somewhere in his body and possible heart and/or kidney failure. I know I have posted of his ups and downs in health before...this last week has left me without words because the dentist's office girl who answered the phone broke down in tears when I told her of his declining health and the fact that he would need to miss an appointment...the doctor's office (the only one I have EVER heard say this to me) asked what they could do to help, and another person told me that she wished there were more people like my parents because if there were then the world would be a much better place. I know in the event of their passing that their wishes are to have no newspaper articles, no services, nothing except a small immediate family viewing before they are cremated and buried. It feels like such a small tribute to the changes they have invoked with people they have come into contact with including the family. I know my thoughts are all over the place here but I have devoted the last 11 years of my life caring for my parents and regret nothing other than wanting more time with them. What do I feel? Scared because I don't know how to live without them.....
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