Quote:
Originally Posted by DapperButch
To be fair, it really depends on the people involved. I know of people who did it by just filing papers online for a few hundred dollars. They went their separate ways cleanly the way ICC did.
Others, who even had money, child support, and property involved may have used lawyers, but still did it quick and easy. A meeting or two between their lawyers and that was it. People have the option to make their own agreement, or simply follow the monetary "formula" (alimony, child support, etc), stated by the State that you live in (for my state you can find it on our government web site).
I don't profess to know how different it is state to state and maybe it is a longer process in some states (including yours, JDeere), but I really think it is only if people don't agree. Yes, it CAN carry on for years with lots and lots of heartbreak, but it depends on the people and if they do not want to follow what your state suggests or can't come up with their own agreement of terms.
ICC, that is scary as hell that people just co-habitating can have legally binding issues. No wonder living with someone is not an option for you! Hell!
(Also, ICC, how about you give us initials to use for your name? I don't know what you like and I still want to call you HB!)
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Imp is fine. Or IC. Or ICC. Or titsalina. Lol I don't care, I know who you are referring to.
And yes, I could have made our divorce last years. That was my point. So thanks. You can be quick and easy or it can be costly, hurtful (more hurtful than it already is. I didn't believe in divorce for myself so it felt like getting a layer of skin peeled off. I'm of the same opinion as Tinkerbelly). And it depends on if the people involved are angry, self-righteous, other blaming, vindictive arses. Yes, my exwife did something cruel and broke her promises. But she also wasn't mentally healthy and I believed her decisions were made in a depressive spiral. Hurting her more wouldn't have "taught" her anything. She is her own chaos, her own storm. And I certainly wasn't innocent. I wasn't peaches and cream to live with.
And I think the legally binding thing with cohabitation is good. So many people don't believe in civil marriage but shack up and have kids and spend money together on places, it's the easiest way to make it fair. A long time ago, back in the 1500s, in many places in Europe, that's how marriage worked anyway. You said "you wanna be my wife?" They said "yup" and they moved in. No ceremony needed. That was for the farmers and land workers and lower guilds. If you had money/title, then the person got chosen for you and there were witnesses and probably a church person there.
Modern marriage didn't happen till mid 16th century. When Henry had his fit, along wth John Calvin and Luther and invented prodestantism and the whole anti Catholic thing started.
Then *everyone* had to have a ceremony, it had to be by the prodistant church or a church official, and you had to pay for it. So prodestant ministers that liked a bit of tipple married poor people in pubs for much less money and still signed the paper for you.
Anyway. Yeah, personally think those that live together, have kids and make investments together should be recognized equal to married and with equal obligations. Seen too many of my friends get screwed with long term cohabitation and no rights, someone just empties the house and fucks off and leaves a kid. Or kicks them out. They aren't married. You paid into their mortgage for six years.
I think it's a good idea.
When my mom had a domestic partnership through cohabitation, they both drew up legal documents stating neither one had rights to the others house or accounts - so basically a cohabitation prenup. Which was very good idea because when he died, his kids wanted half my mom's house as well as his.
So. It's always good to put it on paper. Your partner may not be an arse, but if there is no will , maybe their kin are.