[*Anya*]

I have a couple of thoughts.

First of all, boundaries are critical for anyone.

We all may have a hard boundary. Mine is anything anal for myself. I don't have to justify it to my partner or to myself.

It just is.

I do want to say, however, that this is different than my trying something sexual for the first time and any associated discomfort or anxiety I may have if I have not done it before.

I felt scared and anxious the first time that I kissed a woman, the first time that I touched a woman sexually and the first time that I went down on a woman. Actually, the first time I did all those things with my first bio male boyfriend, I felt unsure and anxious, too.

The first time I strapped, I felt awkward and very unsure but I soon let go of those feelings and enjoyed it immensely.

Penetration is a hard boundary for my GF so, that is off the table and I totally respect that.

My point is that a hard boundary is very different from feeling anxious and unsure about our sexual skills in a particular area. No one can tell us what is right or wrong for us but ourselves. It may take us a while to figure out which is which, but if we trust ourselves and our partner; we will come to know what is right for us.