[*Anya*]

Trust has two meanings for me when we are talking monogamy. I fell in love wth my long-term ex and both of us agreed to monogamy. In retrospect, I think it was a more important value of mine, then hers. Then, out of the blue, my ex cheated. The sense of betrayal was so profound (no one had ever cheated on me-or that I had ever known about).

The first time she cheated was what you may be calling broken trust. Instead of breaking up, because I loved her and because I got a lot of tears and promises of "I'll never, ever do it again". I worked really hard on rebuilding that with her. I had a mantra of forgiveness in my brain 100 times a day.

Just as a tiny bit of trust was being rebuilt, she fucking did it again. Trust gone, never to be seen in regards to her again and it never will be again. We are now no more, 19 years of partnership and love down the drain.

Current partner made vow of faithfulness and I have total trust with her. Monogamy is just as an important value to her, as it is to me. If my trust were ever to shatter with her, there would be no rebuilding. The betrayal would be too deep.