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imperfect_cupcake · 12-17-2015, 11:58 PM

I'm actually pretty ok with being single. I've been crushed with school work and it's hard for people to understand and accept that "if you really cared about me/liked me you'd find the time" is not actually true in all cases. With seven subjects, a practicum, a case study, and outreaches, there can be 9 to 11 final exams. Actually I don't have time to even do my laundry for a couple of weeks so how am going to have time to have a date or a 40 minute conversation on the phone?

Plus every one wants instant chemistry, that massive crush hit of seeing someone for the first time romantic movie set up. I'm not that girl. It takes me time to know if I'm attracted because I'm attracted to people's brains. Instant chemistry doesn't happen for me. It's happened very rarely in the past but that did not guarantee a good fit. It was just good sex for several months.

So, if people meet me and don't hit things off in a massive way within a 90 minute coffee, I don't hear from them again. So I'm not dating. I find it painful and awkward most of the time. I prefer meeting people at parties and talking, among people we both know. Rare now that I'm 46. Near Impossible now that I no longer live in London.

So I'm starting my own meet up group - mostly to make new friends now that I'm graduating, but perhaps there might be someone I form a friendship with that also gets sexual. That would be nice. It would be a start, anyway.

I love forums but people are just too far away and usually the Butch-femme groups on line are mostly old school americans, which is great for other old school Americans with similar cultural agreements, but my old fashioned is old fashioned from a socialist, atheist, scientific, communal house living.

My old fashioned is post modern lol it's the values of my parents and grandparents and they were very much post modernist, socialist atheists. Botanists, mostly.

So... I'm old fashioned. But not old school in the American Butch-femme sense of the word. So I tend to miss the mark on fb groups. I gave up on them.

But hurrah for starting my own group!

12-17-2015, 11:58 PM	#9783
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,710 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I'm actually pretty ok with being single. I've been crushed with school work and it's hard for people to understand and accept that "if you really cared about me/liked me you'd find the time" is not actually true in all cases. With seven subjects, a practicum, a case study, and outreaches, there can be 9 to 11 final exams. Actually I don't have time to even do my laundry for a couple of weeks so how am going to have time to have a date or a 40 minute conversation on the phone? Plus every one wants instant chemistry, that massive crush hit of seeing someone for the first time romantic movie set up. I'm not that girl. It takes me time to know if I'm attracted because I'm attracted to people's brains. Instant chemistry doesn't happen for me. It's happened very rarely in the past but that did not guarantee a good fit. It was just good sex for several months. So, if people meet me and don't hit things off in a massive way within a 90 minute coffee, I don't hear from them again. So I'm not dating. I find it painful and awkward most of the time. I prefer meeting people at parties and talking, among people we both know. Rare now that I'm 46. Near Impossible now that I no longer live in London. So I'm starting my own meet up group - mostly to make new friends now that I'm graduating, but perhaps there might be someone I form a friendship with that also gets sexual. That would be nice. It would be a start, anyway. I love forums but people are just too far away and usually the Butch-femme groups on line are mostly old school americans, which is great for other old school Americans with similar cultural agreements, but my old fashioned is old fashioned from a socialist, atheist, scientific, communal house living. My old fashioned is post modern lol it's the values of my parents and grandparents and they were very much post modernist, socialist atheists. Botanists, mostly. So... I'm old fashioned. But not old school in the American Butch-femme sense of the word. So I tend to miss the mark on fb groups. I gave up on them. But hurrah for starting my own group!