[AtLast]

Originally Posted by Martina

This almost implies that it just sort of happened like a disease. It denies any kind of gender hierarchy and the fact that sexism is behind it. WHY is there some discord in the first place? Because there has been a history -- not too long and only in some communities, but quite REAL -- of devaluing women-identified butches. When women identified butches started objecting and even organizing a little bit, they were accused of inserting HATE into the dialogue. That's classic privilege at work.

Most certainly is. And one excusing their laziness about using female pronouns takes the cake with exercising privilege. Arwen, I have always thought very highly of you and actually understand part of your response. But, This statement was so dismissive, I could not believe it came from you at all.

What would a male-identified or TG butch think and feel if i just said, Oh, sorry, its just too damn difficult to respect part of who you are... don't take it personally.

The fact IS that woman-ID'd butches were erased in some communities, and their speaking up seems to bother some people. You seem to want to understand their speaking up about this erasure as if it were an objection to how others ID. It is not that. And it's offensive to frame it that way. It's not an attack. It's not an expression of hatred. Calling it that is such a classic defense that people who do not want a group to speak about their lives and their truths use.

No, our speaking up has not one damn thing to do with objecting to how other's ID. I get really tired of this assumption and I don't believe that male-IDed/transmen are taking pot shots at my identity when they speak their personal truth. Again, this attitude is from a place of privilege.

My sense is that most woman-identified butches want to be respected, to not be called by masculine pronouns, and to not have certain assumptions placed on them. Somehow that gets experienced as a rebuke to how others ID. It is not.

You got it!



When the problem is solved, yes, it will go away. Not until then. i don't think women-identified butches are going to volunteer for erasure just so some people will feel better. (i note your Freudian slip -- female-id vs. butch-id).

True... on both counts. And we are not.

Something that comes up for me time and again is that I can have this conversation with male-identified butches and transmen outside of a B-F website without these kinds of statements and assumptions. In fact, I find alot of sincere understanding between us all more often than not. I get pissed when I hear blanket statements about hatred among us. There has been a lot of work done among us. And I won't stand for that to be erased either.