[violaine]

[QUOTE=Liam;105023]I've been thinking about this for some time, and I decided to put it out there to those on the spectrum. Did you have to learn, NOT to trust people?

dear liam,

in a word- yes.

when i was a small child, and my family mentioned someone 'stealing' me, i'd say, 'don't worry, they'll bring me back in ten minutes!' do you think that i must have repeated what i overheard?



acceptance is beautiful to know, and to be able to provide others. if an individual is wired to be naturally open, and then grows up with a lot of freedom to 'be', how does she know that not everyone else out there receives the same wiring/familial experiences?

it took me a long time to figure out!


ways i learned to be more guarded around certain people fairly straightforward: i feel worse around them than i do otherwise, and more adds up in the negative column. sure, there are people [NT's], capable of detecting things sooner- and that's ohk! seeing roundly, i.e., often for me means taking the long road- with friend/co-worker/person of interest/family member, and while it's true, i may eventually be out of a friendship [that * i * thought existed], better to be out than remain stuck in one-sidedness.

on the other hand, a break just may be needed. it depends on the person, situation, and whether or not my bounce-back has been exhausted!

perils. pleasures. of AT wiring.

eta: it 'feels' worse being around them. emotionalising the patterns of undesirable behaviour. this happens after trying to make sense of the confusion, and then communicating questionable scenarios- intellectualising first and then going on how that is received. patterns and connections. it comes in stages- not all at once, like it may work for NT's.