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Dylan · 05-17-2010, 01:51 PM

This is going to be a bit of an overshare, but...

From the time I can remember, I have been answering the 'are you a boy or a girl?' question. From kindergarten thru about middle school, I was called 'he/she'. High school brought 'lez' and 'man/girl'. My gender presentation elicits stares, finger-points, comments, threats, name-calling, etc EVERYDAY and EVERYWHERE I go. I no longer talk to most of thee people in my family because of my gender (going on 20 years now).

I have from my earliest memories had to sit and listen to salespeople and the like trip and stumble over a fucking pronoun with me. Whether they sir me or ma'am me at first, I then have to sit and listen to them trip over themselves and apologize and correct themselves. Theb, I have to (usually) apologize and c@oddle them, because they just 'feel so bad' about screwing it up...even when they got it right the first time.

I have been reminded multiple times a day from the time I can remember that my gender is 'difficult work' for countless lazy people.and I KNOW I share this same story with just about every butch on this website.

So really, when I'm in my own community of queer people who claim to be so very aware, I really can't take hearing, 'but but but it's just so hard'. Nor can I take the flippancy...especially from people who have NOT ever dealt with any of this.

People don't change their pronouns on a whim. This isn't brain surgery. If you think 'remembering' the people you deal with frequently is 'work' try dealing with the flippancy and having other people decide FOR you.

Dylan

05-17-2010, 01:51 PM	#358
Dylan Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanently Banned 10/2010 Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: She thinks all my jokes are corny Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Great State O' Posts: 880 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,027 Thanked 1,838 Times in 500 Posts Rep Power: 0	This is going to be a bit of an overshare, but... From the time I can remember, I have been answering the 'are you a boy or a girl?' question. From kindergarten thru about middle school, I was called 'he/she'. High school brought 'lez' and 'man/girl'. My gender presentation elicits stares, finger-points, comments, threats, name-calling, etc EVERYDAY and EVERYWHERE I go. I no longer talk to most of thee people in my family because of my gender (going on 20 years now). I have from my earliest memories had to sit and listen to salespeople and the like trip and stumble over a fucking pronoun with me. Whether they sir me or ma'am me at first, I then have to sit and listen to them trip over themselves and apologize and correct themselves. Theb, I have to (usually) apologize and c@oddle them, because they just 'feel so bad' about screwing it up...even when they got it right the first time. I have been reminded multiple times a day from the time I can remember that my gender is 'difficult work' for countless lazy people.and I KNOW I share this same story with just about every butch on this website. So really, when I'm in my own community of queer people who claim to be so very aware, I really can't take hearing, 'but but but it's just so hard'. Nor can I take the flippancy...especially from people who have NOT ever dealt with any of this. People don't change their pronouns on a whim. This isn't brain surgery. If you think 'remembering' the people you deal with frequently is 'work' try dealing with the flippancy and having other people decide FOR you. Dylan