[little man]

i think that it's human nature to miss parts of our "old" life. i liken it to an apartment that had a killer layout, great view and reasonable rent...but the floors sloped, the roof leaked and the neighbors were noisy. the nuisances got to be enough of a downside to move...but i still miss the good parts.

i figure the invisibility to other queers is the price of admission. does it suck? you bet. does it feel like a loss? indeed. to have those things back, i would have to return to living half a life. difficult as it feels sometimes, i can't do that. or won't.

in short, i'd have to say that in order to gain ourselves, we have to give up some of the things we'd learned to take for granted.