I am accepting of gender. Period. I see what another person needs and wants me to see. Online it may be very difficult. One thing that I love about this site is the preferred pronouns option on the left. It makes life much easier for me since I want to dismiss no one's insides. They are very delicate for most of us. How we look on the outside doesn't always match on the inside. It is true on so many different levels and in so many different ways.
It is not so hard for me to acknowledge who the real person inside of someone is. Someone who I care for very much is seen by other people as being his outsides. I said to him once that it must be very hard for him. What he said to me is that "it doesn't matter what they think, it matters what you think." Wanting to be seen the way we actually are, as that person inside, is a very human need. Most of us have fought with ourselves and against the world our whole lives.
As a community I think it's especially important for people to be validated for how they view themselves. Most people don't get that in the real world. In many ways most of us are invisible, it is only in the written word that we can be seen. For the first time we can be the reflection of how we feel inside without people judging our outsides. I don't see trans for that reason. Trans to me implies some sort of "movement towards". My experience with talking to people is that they are already there, they were born there regardless of appearance.
To be challenged for who we are is painful. When it happens, it's a level of disappointment that I find it difficult to put words to. The only thing I think that explains it is like a childhood rejection. The first time you realized that you were different and people KNEW you were different. Then they made it a point to ridicule you for that. It is a core level rejection that cuts deeper then most things.
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