[little man]

i think much of it depends on where you are and who you're with.

inside the queer community, there is much more discussion and thought put into identity, who we are, what we are than there is in the world at large. while i'm sure there are some folks in the world who do consciously consider self and who they are in a greater context...i have doubts that gender identity plays into that much, if at all. when i'm at work or the grocery store or at the zoo...my gender identity does not come into play for anyone else. obviously, it's a part of what goes into making me the type of man i am, but i don't see anyone mulling it over. for the general population, i'm a funny guy who is helpful or irritated or pleasant. while it is noted that i'm not overly ionterested in sports and that i seem to "understand" women a bit more than your average joe...my manhood is not questioned. i'm just a different sort of man. since my primary goal in life isn't looking for pussy to get up in, but to find someone who's a good match for me in other areas....i'm a really different sort of guy.

because people tend to see the worrld through their own filters, and scrutiny of gender idenity isn't on their list of things to think about, they ascribe to the world around them an ease in being whoever one is. it's in the narrower confines of social subgroups (queer/b-f/trans) that all this stuff comes into play. i wonder if the influence of knowing we're different, in the context of the broader world, comes into play here online...where we speak up about being misnamed and call people out on intent. i think that because this place matters, these people matter to us...it's important to say this stuff aloud. i have a difficult time believing that many folks, trans or otherwise, spend much of their offline time saying, "hey...i'm a boy or a boi or a masculine female bodied man".

it's wonderful that we have these discussions, that we're all able to come to a better understanding of ourselves and others in the world. unless there were some history of conflict between any two posters, i'd be hard pressed to believe that *anyone* is being malicious in their terminology or phrasing. we take our cues from one another in what we read.

and now, it's time for this guy to give his sister a ride to work and go pull some carpet.