Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - Femmes: How do you like to be treated on a date?

imperfect_cupcake · 09-11-2016, 01:08 PM

I'm not really a physical link person. I'm a sapiophile, really and truly.
My attraction is based on humour, banter, and someone "getting" me. That's what flips my chenistry switch. Unfortunately, that can take a few meets with people. So I can't be instantly attracted. I can think someone is hot, physically, but that's about it. And that's not exactly something that sticks around for me. As soon as someone starts talking, they either get more and more attractive over time because I am starting to get revved up.by their intelligence and type of humour, their ability to relax around me, to be informal and cheeky, and see me as a person first, rather than my gender first. Then they *get* supah hot. If they act really formal and polite, talk about nothing I can relate to, view me a femme borg and thus *must* be treated X (don't swear around them, be on best behaviour, potential romantic endeavour only, etc), is more cautious than witty, I'm not going to get turned on. No matter how they look. But it can take up to 3-4 meet ups to figure that out, for me.

But I'm a "p" type that reserves judgement for insane amounts of time.
Many people that I meet that I can't stand initially because I find them abrasive, high maintenance, and self serving, and if I *have* to get to know them (colleague, patient, social situation where I am locked into something for a few days) I find that with some one-on-one time, I discover I actually really enjoy some great qualities about them and I actually like their company.

People I used to have immediate hot chemistry with have pretty much always turned out to be active addicts or heavy drinkers a month down the road. So I am *extremely* wary of that heavy, instant sizzle for some "mysterious" "soul connection" reason. That reason is 99% of the time the co-dependant-addict attraction chenistry.

So I just no longer trust it or go there. In fact, I find that chemistry kind of scary now.

09-11-2016, 01:08 PM	#343
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I'm not really a physical link person. I'm a sapiophile, really and truly. My attraction is based on humour, banter, and someone "getting" me. That's what flips my chenistry switch. Unfortunately, that can take a few meets with people. So I can't be instantly attracted. I can think someone is hot, physically, but that's about it. And that's not exactly something that sticks around for me. As soon as someone starts talking, they either get more and more attractive over time because I am starting to get revved up.by their intelligence and type of humour, their ability to relax around me, to be informal and cheeky, and see me as a person first, rather than my gender first. Then they get supah hot. If they act really formal and polite, talk about nothing I can relate to, view me a femme borg and thus must be treated X (don't swear around them, be on best behaviour, potential romantic endeavour only, etc), is more cautious than witty, I'm not going to get turned on. No matter how they look. But it can take up to 3-4 meet ups to figure that out, for me. But I'm a "p" type that reserves judgement for insane amounts of time. Many people that I meet that I can't stand initially because I find them abrasive, high maintenance, and self serving, and if I have to get to know them (colleague, patient, social situation where I am locked into something for a few days) I find that with some one-on-one time, I discover I actually really enjoy some great qualities about them and I actually like their company. People I used to have immediate hot chemistry with have pretty much always turned out to be active addicts or heavy drinkers a month down the road. So I am extremely wary of that heavy, instant sizzle for some "mysterious" "soul connection" reason. That reason is 99% of the time the co-dependant-addict attraction chenistry. So I just no longer trust it or go there. In fact, I find that chemistry kind of scary now.