[Gemme]

Originally Posted by ClintB

Gender queer is a term that I'm starting to explore for myself.

Honestly I'm always a little late to my own party. Every since I can remember I was misgendered. In high school I tried girly but I never cared about cloths and frequently bought men's cloths... just because I liked them. I embraced an andogenous look when I came out, but girlfriends who were more butch than I pressured me to try be more feminine. It didn't work and it only made me feel more ashamed that I was failing girl school all over again... and self destructive behavior.

I'm trying to stop all the bullshit. I struggle to find a "professional" look that I am comfortable in, but in my day to day life I've cut my hair how I want, and now strictly wear men's clothing. I have some chest dysphoria I'm trying to figure out.

The problem with butch is that it's such a heavy label. I've not known a butch community that doesn't get into strong arming each other into stereotypes. I am sorry if that's totally wrong... it's just been my experience. I don't want another title I have to defend using. Gender queer is not at title I've fully adopted. I am in a confused state for gender... I'm not sure if I never was truly of girl, or if I've finally given up after being kicked out of the girl club so many times. :/

And that's a huge reason why I've come to these boards.

Well, I hope that you find what you are searching for. This is a great place to work this kind of stuff out.