Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - Femmes: How do you like to be treated on a date?

ClintB · 04-09-2017, 10:16 AM

I always keep first dates simple, low cost, low key, noncommittal. I do this for both of our sake. First, let me rephrase that this "date" is rarely classified as such... usually it's just me asking them if they want to grab a coffee or drink with no title. I think it works for a long of reasons.... first, everyone is on neutral, public ground and feels safe. The date can't be easily extended if it's going well, but kept short if it's a no go. In a world that places expectations of sex as a reward for chivalry, it brings it down to a level of "just two people having coffee." Many women are uncomfortable with not being able to pay th or own way (see above) and it lets me gage how she feels... if she doesn't want me buying her coffee... she probably doesn't want me paying for meals and tickets to shows either. i respect her boundaries on this.

Im not big on traditional chivalry... I do think it sets up an unhealthy power dynamic. Maybe better to roll out once we have a connection and both feel on equal footing.

Other than that, I am more of practical, rough and tumble person. I've learn d to play that up rather than down... this means I end up with rough and tumble girls

. I do a lot of picnic packing, drives into the mountain, lakes, beach. Bonfires. I love a good restaurant every now and then, but I prefer having adventures with her, making memories. These thing are rarely free, but often not expensive.

Where I throw that all in the fire is gifts though lol. I'm a sucker for seeing something she may want and wanting to surprise her with it. I try not to let it go to far and I keep it small at first. I don't want her to feel like she is being bought. But as the relationship gets long term, then I like to buy nice things just because.

04-09-2017, 10:16 AM	#355
ClintB Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch, questioning Preferred Pronoun?: Interested in your opinion Relationship Status: Downtrodden Join Date: Apr 2017 Location: Traveler Posts: 68 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6 Thanked 255 Times in 65 Posts Rep Power: 2362244	I always keep first dates simple, low cost, low key, noncommittal. I do this for both of our sake. First, let me rephrase that this "date" is rarely classified as such... usually it's just me asking them if they want to grab a coffee or drink with no title. I think it works for a long of reasons.... first, everyone is on neutral, public ground and feels safe. The date can't be easily extended if it's going well, but kept short if it's a no go. In a world that places expectations of sex as a reward for chivalry, it brings it down to a level of "just two people having coffee." Many women are uncomfortable with not being able to pay th or own way (see above) and it lets me gage how she feels... if she doesn't want me buying her coffee... she probably doesn't want me paying for meals and tickets to shows either. i respect her boundaries on this. Im not big on traditional chivalry... I do think it sets up an unhealthy power dynamic. Maybe better to roll out once we have a connection and both feel on equal footing. Other than that, I am more of practical, rough and tumble person. I've learn d to play that up rather than down... this means I end up with rough and tumble girls . I do a lot of picnic packing, drives into the mountain, lakes, beach. Bonfires. I love a good restaurant every now and then, but I prefer having adventures with her, making memories. These thing are rarely free, but often not expensive. Where I throw that all in the fire is gifts though lol. I'm a sucker for seeing something she may want and wanting to surprise her with it. I try not to let it go to far and I keep it small at first. I don't want her to feel like she is being bought. But as the relationship gets long term, then I like to buy nice things just because.