[Kätzchen]

My last attempt at developing an romantic relationship differed widely from other romantic relationships I've had: It seemed like lots of things were evolving in natural ways and it seemed like we has lots in common but yet we also had striking differences. My ex boyfriend stated once, toward the end of our relationship, that I was so incredibly sweet, thoughtful and kind. Which, I can be. BUT, once I assert my boundaries, especially boundaries that I won't adjust, due to prior experiences within an romantic relationship, then it might look like I'm not kind, not tolerant or some such thing. I'm good at holding the line, concerning my boundaries, and I think that took him by surprise. So much so, that it spawned the hidden lunatic variable in his personality. Even at times, that he thought he could take me down or barrage me with enough horrid behavioral tactics, I would not alter my boundaries. Because, as I have stated above, prior romantic relationships that didn't work out, was my training ground on how to better assert myself and be my best, own protector.

I have learned so many things about myself, each time I venture down a new romantic path, but I'd say that particular scarring issues have actually shown me where I need personal growth or how to not blame myself for things I couldn't possibly know how to handle or how to be better able to see deal-breaker behaviors that I won't tolerate or let another person slide on.

I try very hard to be fair minded. To have an open heart. But I'm not going to place my personal safety in jeopardy because I have loving feelings for am romantic partner.

Although I have scars (baggage from prior romantic relationships), I take it as an personal challenge to improve the skills I'm not so strong on and to review my best skills, to make sure I'm using them in appropriate ways. I do that because I care about myself and love myself in ways that I hope is healthy.