[amiyesiam]

[QUOTE=Medusa;115551]As a way to try to honor the conversation around the "Gender Wars" thread in the Butch Zone, I wanted to start a thread here in The Femme Zone where Femmes can feel free to talk about their views and experiences with the "Gender Wars" from the Femme perspective.

I have a lot to say. I am also planning to be brutally honest in this thread because I'm tired of dancing around this shit over and over, year after year and would like to see some forward motion on the conversation/movement and am willing to get naked right here in this thread to help that happen.

Caveat #1 : I am speaking entirely from my place as "Medusa"/Angie/ME and am NOT speaking from an Admin capacity. I recognize the bullshittery in saying "Oooh! This hat is off and this hat is on" because hello? -Point being is that I want to talk freely here and get real and am willing to take any irritation/moderation/question AS A MEMBER. So please, if I piss someone off in this thread, feel free to report my ass like any other member.

Caveat #2 : Even though I am speaking as a MEMBER right now, simply by the osmotic factor of being an admin on this site, the things that people talk about will leak into my psyche so if we come up with anything in this thread that might be helpful in administration, I am 100% willing to commandeer that with your permission to help make this site a better place.

Caveat #3 : I might bust something if someone says they feel "unsafe" with me participating in this conversation with the whole "eye of the Admin" thing so let me repeat... I. WANT. TO. TALK. ABOUT. THIS. AND. AM. WILLING. TO. BE. CHECKED. ON. MY. SHIT. EXACTLY. LIKE. ANY. OTHER. MEMBER.

Caveat #4 : I love you all but Got. Dayum. we need to get this shit together.


I am going to start with a few questions, similiar to what Metro did in her thread over in the Butch Zone just to get the conversation started.
Thanks to all who participate:


* As a Femme of whatever ID, do you feel animosity towards (entire groups) of Butch or Trans IDs?

As a human, if and when I feel animosity against anyone, it is based on the content of their character, nothing else.

* Do you see yourself or ID as being at "war" with another Femme ID or complicit in a "war" between Butch or Trans IDs?

I don't see myself as being at war with anyone. War is violence. I don't do violence

* Do you see any group of masculine ID's having an agenda to attack another group?

What I see is butches who have had to be "out there" in order to be who they are. A group who has pretty much taken shit all their lives in order to just live life. Be it the female id's hearing you just wanna be men, which they don't want to be, or the male id's being told they are women, which they aren't. Butches are who they are period.
I don't think anyone has an agenda, I think people want to be seen for who they are. I for one see butches for who they are.

* As a Femme, do you see a "war" between Femmes of different IDs? Why or why not?

I would prepose that if femmes id both male and female we would see the same thing going on with femmes. No matter how we see our selves as femme, we all use the pronoun her/she etc. There might be convos about feeling femme enough though

* Do you think that Femmes contribute in any way to the gender or identity formation of Butches or Transmen? How about contributing to the gender formation of Butches of Transmen who Femmes date?

I think butches/trans form their own identity based on who they are, not on what femmes think/say. I sure as hell don't decide who I am or how to be based on what butches think. I do think that some femmes feel a need to defend their butches (god knows they take a lot of crap in the real world)

* Do you, as a Femme, have a feminine or masculine identity?

I have a human identity. That identity is made up of a hella lota traits that fall all over the place on the feminine/masculine continumum.

* Do you even feel like there is a "Gender War"? Is that an external manifestation of the internal? Do you feel that it is a construct of the larger sexist and misogynist society at work here?

What I see is people saying there is a gender war. I see groups trying to be seen. Groups that seem to think that that if one group is seen the other isn't. So often I have to go back and read posts cause my filters tend to see people as sane and nice, I don't see the bull shit person A is calling person B on. After the shit starts flying both sides get ugly and you cant miss the bull.
I just don't understand why we have to function in a win/lose, us/or them mentality.
Some days I just want to say GROW THE FUCK UP it is 2010, there is enough for everyone. We can have win/win, me, you, us, them. We can see everyone. We can assume best case not worst case.



and finally if THEY come for the sexual deviants, they will be coming for ALL OF US, and in that moment we will all be on the same side, defending each other. We have way to much freedom (that we take for granted) when we can argue with the very people we would defend.


I'll be back in just a bit -