[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Medusa

As a way to try to honor the conversation around the "Gender Wars" thread in the Butch Zone, I wanted to start a thread here in The Femme Zone where Femmes can feel free to talk about their views and experiences with the "Gender Wars" from the Femme perspective.

I have a lot to say. I am also planning to be brutally honest in this thread because I'm tired of dancing around this shit over and over, year after year and would like to see some forward motion on the conversation/movement and am willing to get naked right here in this thread to help that happen.

Caveat #1 : I am speaking entirely from my place as "Medusa"/Angie/ME and am NOT speaking from an Admin capacity. I recognize the bullshittery in saying "Oooh! This hat is off and this hat is on" because hello? -Point being is that I want to talk freely here and get real and am willing to take any irritation/moderation/question AS A MEMBER. So please, if I piss someone off in this thread, feel free to report my ass like any other member.

Caveat #2 : Even though I am speaking as a MEMBER right now, simply by the osmotic factor of being an admin on this site, the things that people talk about will leak into my psyche so if we come up with anything in this thread that might be helpful in administration, I am 100% willing to commandeer that with your permission to help make this site a better place.

Caveat #3 : I might bust something if someone says they feel "unsafe" with me participating in this conversation with the whole "eye of the Admin" thing so let me repeat... I. WANT. TO. TALK. ABOUT. THIS. AND. AM. WILLING. TO. BE. CHECKED. ON. MY. SHIT. EXACTLY. LIKE. ANY. OTHER. MEMBER.

Caveat #4 : I love you all but Got. Dayum. we need to get this shit together.


I am going to start with a few questions, similiar to what Metro did in her thread over in the Butch Zone just to get the conversation started.
Thanks to all who participate:


* As a Femme of whatever ID, do you feel animosity towards (entire groups) of Butch or Trans IDs?

NO

* Do you see yourself or ID as being at "war" with another Femme ID or complicit in a "war" between Butch or Trans IDs?

Sometimes, not out in the real world mostly here, I experience a lot of eeewies, looked down on, my morals in question, definitely judgment for being as sexual as I am. It comes from both gender spectrums, femme's- questioning my ethics because of my sexual freedom, or the whole *flippin' butches*, the they have to hold their man back because I happen to have slaves that I want their man I could go on.. Butches of any ID, trans guys, guys, I get the whole they stupid me when speaking to me by refering to me as sweetie or honey or silly or talked to like I am 4, my physical strength, mental and emotional is not femme, lack of dresses and looking stepford, I can go on with this too.

* Do you see any group of masculine ID's having an agenda to attack another group?

No, what I see is a lot of people not taking time to listen to one another.

* As a Femme, do you see a "war" between Femmes of different IDs? Why or why not?

Sometimes it's more underhanded though when it starts if that makes sense.

* Do you think that Femmes contribute in any way to the gender or identity formation of Butches or Transmen? Hell yes, it happens in circles I experience off line with some members of this realm and it happens outside as well, I have repeatedly watched and corrected myself how a femme addresses a butch, and have watched the femme flips her hand in dismissal because why would Sandy want to be called Paul if they don't identify as trans cause well you are only a girl no matter how you look or want to identify. I see a lot of it happening here, with the expectations and then jesus forbid a break up happens then they refer to them as her, or him or whatever or use their girl name or god forbid if they want to be fucked then they are a waste and no real butch would want that, I could go on and on with this as well H
How about contributing to the gender formation of Butches of Transmen who Femmes date?

above answer can be applied to this as well

* Do you, as a Femme, have a feminine or masculine identity?

Yes

* Do you even feel like there is a "Gender War"? Sometimes it feels like it

Is that an external manifestation of the internal? Do you feel that it is a construct of the larger sexist and misogynist society at work here?

Yes.

Yes, I think our shit carries over and it's applied here or tried to, and yuck yuck to the slings of misandry. I ain't perfect I am sure I have some fucked up views and sexist thoughts, I do however know not to come in and type of bunch of my shit and not expect a call out, matter of fact I do expect it I would call someone out.





I'll be back in just a bit --

I hope that is sufficient, thanks for the thread Medusa!