[Stoney]

Okay here are my questions....

why in the hell does this have to be a war? why is is that people can have any " right or wrong" way to define or identify themselves??? how could I just say" Oh Im a dyke and some one else says well , excuse me you might say you are a dyke but you are really a queer in "my" opinion... you Identify as a man... but "you are wrong because I think you are more like a female. You say you are a butch but You cant be because you shave your arm pits..yada yada.

.I mean who GIVES A FUCK ?

and like wise... How am I gonna get pissed off because someone thinks Im a dyke but not a queer? or thinks Im not as butch as they think I should be etc..
AGAIN..who gives a fuck?

I mean I am lesbian and butch and yeah sometimes people think I am a man, I get called sir more often than not. what am I gonna do punch people in the face cause they made and honest mistake?.....hell I wouldnt punch them in the face for saying it for any reason... I am me. I dress like me, I act like me. Everyone sees me through their own eyes , not mine.They dont know really where I have been, what my life means to me and for the most part most people dont care bout that either.
If a comment is made it is for their own entertainment if it is derogatory , out of ignorance if ... well it is just plain ignorant ...but most are simply mistakes.

I cut my hair short , I buy my clothes from the mens section.. people are gonna assume thinks about me .quick glance, yes, I fit a stereotype one I am well aware of... duh.....I dressed myself today. It is human nature to assume.

Those things used to bother me, what people thought, how I would fit in ,measure up...
.then I really thought..measure up to what? another's opinion of the person i am and how I should be this way or that to fit the impression they have of me??

the person you are is you,the life you are creating belongs to you,the one most important thing that can never be stolen, altered, felt or experienced by any other human being but ourselves is what we believe about and embrace within ourselves and claim to be our truth.

Stand firm in who you are , but be understanding to those who haven't walked in your shoes What they think of you , what they project has reason, whether it is insulting, stereotyping, or just plain asinine; there is a lesson for you, compassion and understanding can go a long long way, remember.. they are trying to create themselves too

As for in places like this.

I have had even the sweetest words misinterpreted when i have posted. I have been attacked and insulted and my feelings got hurt then I got jumped on over having feelings and then an attack on my sexuality

and I have to admit and Im embarrassed to say It fucked with me. I mean I truly let the words of people online fuck with my life.
I thought about the stuff they said and I picked myself apart over it. rehashed the words and intentions in my head ( I mean not obsessively or anything but now and then when I missed going to the site) I didnt return for over a year. Then had a lower profile. didnt say much, just read posts until I seen so much of the same happening to other people like me who innocently insulted someone and then got emotionally beat down and run off for it. And I stopped candy coating what I had to say. I mean I feel I am a pretty emotionally stable happy person who visits this site and what about some of the folks that come in here and make mistakes , words said , oversensitive responses and projection can be damaging and hurtful, and face it some people who come to sites like this it is their only sense of family, sometimes it is all they have , maybe they have mental problems, are depressed, their dog just got run over , who knows... the point is...I know how it affected me and I rather like myself, what about those that do not? so I started saying what I want.

I had already decided that I wouldnt let things said on line bother me anymore and I honestly have plenty of life out here to life without entertaining insults and arguements who either have no right to form an opinion on " my Feelings" ( which happens alot it seems in posts)and then insult me or I accidently offend, leave out, misunderstand,only include"whatever", point to, reference to what the fuck ever I it is I do wrong and it is back on again......

It is like an online soap turning into Jerry springer ... my two least favorite shows next to Rush Lumbaugh. No thanks

This is supposed to be a place for friends, we are all here because we have some of the same issues, we are here to support and help each other. we are here to learn about ourselves and the people we love and or support. We have so much in common but it seems even in this community all people can do is point out and debate each others differences. why separate? why judge, why stereotype, isnt that what we are trying to escape?.
Separation provokes fear, and judgment and both of those lead to hate.

Whether you are a femme who has kids but is now with a butch , if you were born male but live as a female, if you are in love with a man who was born a woman, if you are a feminist tree huggin peace and love lesbian or the two 75yr old gym teachers who have shared a home for over 40 yrs... some one hates you.
people hate us in this world okay.. I mean it is a fact.

People die because they are some sort of " Queer" every single day...

that is fucked up enough isnt it?


why do we have to divide, separate, ride around on our own high horses spouting off what it means to be queer when we really only have the knowlege of one thing and that is what kind of queer we are.

And if any one is offended over me calling us , this community queers than I just have to say..

you didn't understand a thing I said and whether you did or not,, your too damn sensitive and I ain't into arguing about it..

seriously though.....This post was not intended to piss anyone off
If It does.............

......shrug, you dont know me, you took it wrong and I dont care.

Much peace everyone!!
I deeply and truly mean that!!
Stoney





And just plain stupid assholes.......fuck em ... who cares what they think... I aint wasting one minute explaining myself or validating, or defending anything to them