[Kobi]

Sometimes, one has to be brutally honest and let the chips fall where they may. I am tired and weary from trying to be nice and respectful and accomodating and seeing things from others perspective. Im tired of being made to feel like I need to compromise for the sake of harmony and solidarity.



-As a butch of whatever ID, do you feel animosity towards (entire groups) of other butch IDs?

YES. OMG YES. I am a female id butch lesbian and it pisses me off to be lumped into a butch category with people who do not id as a female butch lesbian. I like female/femme/woman energy. That is what makes me who I am.

A male butch or male id butch is who they are. No harm, no foul. But the two are not synonymous.

I come on this site and I see all the male id/energy categories in the forums. Within that category I see pages of threads and I say ok cool. I see the femme categories and within those categories I see pages of threads....ok cool. But where is the lesbian stuff? I see a butch category with pages of threads...I dont see anything specific to lesbians. There one 1 ONE UNO lesbian thread located in the gender category? What lesbians cant even have a freakin category? How long has this site been running?

I find it odd that to feel the female/woman/female energy that is who I am, I have to go peek in the femme zone cuz thats where the most visible aspect of who I am is. I feel comfortable there with female energy.

It pisses me off that the butch zone feels very male/masculine energy laden, that it makes me feel uncomfortable, that it make me feel like an outsider, that it makes me feel like a second class citizen.

There is a HUGE difference between female butch energy and male/male masculine energy. When someone tells me their brain is wired like a male, warning bells go off for me. Its called male privelege, male posturing, male stuff. It's not who I am or what I am about.

It pisses me off that my long hard fought id as a female id butch lesbian has to be compromised for the sake of male id/male anything. I fought NOT to be seen as a woman who wanted to be a man and here I am lumped in with the very thing I have fought for decades not to be seen as.

This does not mean I begrudge males /or male id's. I dont. Just as I do not begrudge bi's or gay men or anyone else. Feel free to be whatever and whomever you are. But where do I belong? Where are the lesbians who want the butch-femme dynamic in their lives?

I ask myself why do all these butch-femme sites pop up with such a mixed group of participants? Why not set up a site that is for transmen/male id and those who love them? Why not honor your identities with a home that puts who you are right out there? Im not dissing anyone here but when I fought to be a lesbian, I wanted a lesbian community. What arent the transmen/male id's wanting to establish a homeland of their own? Is it because they have a ready supply of potential mates in their accepting, inclusive former lesbian home? Why mess up a good thing?



-Do you see yourself or ID as being at "war" with another ID?

I am more at war with myself than I am with any particular group. I see the lesbian identity I love being thrown under the bus.

I am told that we as butches need to deconstruct our identities and reformulate them. There is nothing wrong with my lesbian butch identity. It is not damaged, it is not broken, it is not in need of repair. It does not need to be reformulated so I can be lumped in with male id anything. I am not a male id'd anything. I am a proud freakin dyke butch! And no task force should be telling me or anyone else how we id. Deal with the bigger issues related to the rights of alternative lifestyles not my identity.

I see a proliferation of youth running to become trans of one sought or another. Why are we seeing such huge growth in the nimbers of people who are the wrong gender? Does anyone besides me question why this is happening?

I seen a lot of misogyny and sexism in my day to day life. I see it here. It bothers me. Put a group of female energy together, it is one thing....add male energy to it, it becomes another. Check the studies on all female schools and how female excel academically in an all female environment. Put them in a mixed sex environment, it drops.

-Do you see any group of masculine ID's having an agenda to attack another group?

Masculine id's do not have to have an agenda to attack anyone. There is a presumed privelege in our culture for all things male. They dont have to attack....women hand it to them on a silver platter.

I dont know if it is true, but some male id here put in one of these threads that the TOS says we are to respect, tolerate, accept, and honor. I tolerate things I dont understand or agree with. I accept things that make sense to me. I respect people not groups of ids. And even heterowomen knew enough to take honor out of the wedding vows. Honor is a male concept short for kiss my kiss. Not gonna happen.

Lastly, it is appalling how many of our female youth have no clue to the history of female life in the world. They take much for granted, much that those of my generation fought for so they could just assume it was always this way.

It is appalling how how backwards women have allowed themselves to slide and sadder that we dont even realize we are doing it.

We shouldnt not be diminishing the female butch lesbian id as I see happening on this site in order to bolster another group. And I am pissed at myself for vascilating between standing up for my people and buying into the need to find a compromise so everyone is happy.

If we really want to deal with the issues, we are going to have to put up with the anger, and all the rest of the emotions that are going to go along with it. It is bigger than gender id.





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