Quote:
Originally Posted by Esme nha Maire
DaddyChrisCo - thank you for your response, it is appreciated, but my dilemma was more to do with what if I cannot tell if they are FTM? If they are FTM, then I need to politely decline the pass. If they are not, then we're all good. If they're FTM, then being pre or postop has no bearing on it - I would not be interested in dating them to avoid unecessary heartbreak for both of us. I'm very glad that you have a loving partner!
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I hope it is ok to piggyback off of your response.
I am very attracted to butch, female-identified, lesbian women. Sometimes, there is no way to know if someone is a male-identified trans person vs. a butch lesbian.
I look at it as a potential friendship.
If someone indicates interest in you and you have interest in them, that is the beginning.
I don't ever want to be afraid of a potential friendship with someone even if they might not be someone I would want to date on an intimate basis.
It sounds like you have some fear of getting involved and then finding out it is not something that you want to pursue.
I think that is the risk for all of us out in the world. Sometimes we are initially attracted to someone and then find out that there is no chemistry.
It is that way regardless of how someone identifies.
The only time in my own life that I felt unsafe or felt that something could or would happen that I did not have the power to stop was before I came out, with a biological male.
Not that it could never happen with a LGBTQ person, but I think most of us are very sensitive to the feelings of others and don't want to be where we are not wanted.
DaddyChrisCo is right, when you really need to know, ask kindly and with respect.
We can never go wrong with that approach.