Quote:
Originally Posted by ClintB
Gender queer is a term that I'm starting to explore for myself.
Honestly I'm always a little late to my own party. Every since I can remember I was misgendered. In high school I tried girly but I never cared about cloths and frequently bought men's cloths... just because I liked them. I embraced an andogenous look when I came out, but girlfriends who were more butch than I pressured me to try be more feminine. It didn't work and it only made me feel more ashamed that I was failing girl school all over again... and self destructive behavior.
I'm trying to stop all the bullshit. I struggle to find a "professional" look that I am comfortable in, but in my day to day life I've cut my hair how I want, and now strictly wear men's clothing. I have some chest dysphoria I'm trying to figure out.
The problem with butch is that it's such a heavy label. I've not known a butch community that doesn't get into strong arming each other into stereotypes. I am sorry if that's totally wrong... it's just been my experience. I don't want another title I have to defend using. Gender queer is not at title I've fully adopted. I am in a confused state for gender... I'm not sure if I never was truly of girl, or if I've finally given up after being kicked out of the girl club so many times. :/
And that's a huge reason why I've come to these boards.
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hey ClintB, yeah, many of my partners, although they identified as internally masculine, some still ID'd as women, some didn't - they were just their own gender. And although they could have easily fit into "butch" they found the label "too heavy" as well. They felt the community of butches were constantly policing their masculinity and it's value (when are you going to get a hair cut, why are you wearing mascara, crossing your legs isn't butch and all kinds of fucked up bullshit. And yeah, it happens). Side stepping it by chosing a term with little to no rules by using genderqueer (non-binary) seems to give them more breathing room.
welcome to the boards
