[Nat]

I think maybe these days I don't feel like a femme anymore. I felt so solidly femme for a long while - even with my gender stuff which is sort of dual. But I cut my hair off a year ago and I feel weird lately if I wear something that feels too girly and I just kind of feel like that part of me has died. Every once in a while maybe I can still access that part of me, but less and less often. It's like one day I walked through a doorway and that part of me stayed behind.

Sometimes I think it would be nice to see how people identify like every 5 years. How static is identity, especially if you are lgbtq+? How often do people who identify as butch or femme find that one day they no longer are? I don't know. I only came back to post this because sometimes people like other things I have posted here and it makes me feel odd now, feeling less and less that femme is an identity I can rightly claim.

Maybe one day I will walk through some other doorway and find that part of me eagerly waiting. I do not know.