Do you know when you have a
its best to stay off line.
Yeah.... so I decide to paint the bathroom for the wifey.
I'm running around in sweats, a tee-shirt and barefoot doing my thing in my house that is a fucking fortress.
Yes a fortress:
I head out the back door to lay down some crown molding on the deck, so I can shoot it with my spray gun.
I try to come back inside the house, and the door is locked
So off to the front of the house I go walking slowly and carefully because my baby soft lilly-white feet are tender. This is where the panic sets in, its 55 degrees outside and Im not from the south.
I soon pull myself back together when I catch myself begging the dog to unlock door.
I now realize that for the next 4 to 5 hours I am locked outside with no cell phone and the wife was at work, and only 2 things are on my mind: food and heat.
After taking a moment to assess my situation (while the dog stares at me through the french storm windows on the back doors), I head for my bass boat. I rip off the tarp and grab a flare and stick it in a burning barrel, get a chair from the shed, and a hand full of firewood.
I sat next to that damn barrel and watched the juicy squirrels run around the yard, I even had thoughts of eating a field mouse that skittered by.
Oh, did I mention that I was also out of nicotine gum?
I amused myself at the thoughts I was having over food, and my only regret was not having a gun or knife to be able to put something in the BBQ.
Ummm, Ok, over the burning barrel on a dirty stick.
I'm hypoglycemic and when Im feeling that bad, Id eat anything, I now truly know that for fact.