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PapaC · 06-02-2010, 05:37 PM

So on the day of my Californian wedding, my wife drove my brother and I all around San Francisco. There's a LOT of hills and those hills start to matter after a while. She drives us up to Coit Tower. Midway up, my brother (who never changes with these issues) asks when he's desperate for us to find a public washroom. Fine whatever, don't worry bro, there's this 'automatic toilet' up at Coit Tower. No problem.

Now, let me explain this FINE invention of the automatic toilet. The one at Coit Tower was double the size of this one:

It's all stainless steel inside, and between people, it will self clean (takes 60 seconds to do so). Ok, so after my bro does his business, I realized... shit, I really have to go too. But I definitely didn't have to just pee. My wife did though so, we figured, save the 60 seconds, and go in together. (the thing was huge, big enough for 5 people standing in there, I swear.)

So, she does her business first, and then it's my turn. well... ,yeah, I was in big trouble at that point. Luckily she and I are intimate so, you know smells and such. I'm trying to remember if I was 'allowed' a courtesy flush. Yes I think I was. You see... this 'automatic toilet' thingy would open up in 20 minutes automatically if you didn't press the button. So, no matter what, you have 20 minutes.

Well, I had the uh.. .runs, pretty badly. Relief like you couldn't imagine, until I look around the 100% stainless steel room, and start to panic sitting on that steel bowl.

"Honey? Where's the toilet paper?"

Well, at that point after my shock look, we start laughing at this predicament that I'm in. I'm sitting on that bowl, I *HAVE* to wipe. I just have to. but,...

it's not like she could have run back into the car to get a kleenex or anything, or ask my bro to 'slip it under the door' or anything. and If she opened this door to go out of the toilet.... well, it would start to self clean... with me in there.

I was trapped. We were trapped. and, you guessed it: time was running out.

As this point we roared in laughter... and I was processing in my head.. wtf am I going to do, wtf am I going to do.

Luckily, thanks to the fact that I sweat a lot, I just happened to have a washcloth (sometimes I use a bandana) tucked in my pocket. I pulled it out in relief and used it to wipe myself clean.

Since then, I tend to carry a roll in my car.

06-02-2010, 05:37 PM	#69
PapaC Member How Do You Identify?: FTM-Queer Preferred Pronoun?: He Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: west coast Posts: 214 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 412 Thanked 486 Times in 111 Posts Rep Power: 1281637	Medusa isn't the only one who talks about poop. So on the day of my Californian wedding, my wife drove my brother and I all around San Francisco. There's a LOT of hills and those hills start to matter after a while. She drives us up to Coit Tower. Midway up, my brother (who never changes with these issues) asks when he's desperate for us to find a public washroom. Fine whatever, don't worry bro, there's this 'automatic toilet' up at Coit Tower. No problem. Now, let me explain this FINE invention of the automatic toilet. The one at Coit Tower was double the size of this one: It's all stainless steel inside, and between people, it will self clean (takes 60 seconds to do so). Ok, so after my bro does his business, I realized... shit, I really have to go too. But I definitely didn't have to just pee. My wife did though so, we figured, save the 60 seconds, and go in together. (the thing was huge, big enough for 5 people standing in there, I swear.) So, she does her business first, and then it's my turn. well... ,yeah, I was in big trouble at that point. Luckily she and I are intimate so, you know smells and such. I'm trying to remember if I was 'allowed' a courtesy flush. Yes I think I was. You see... this 'automatic toilet' thingy would open up in 20 minutes automatically if you didn't press the button. So, no matter what, you have 20 minutes. Well, I had the uh.. .runs, pretty badly. Relief like you couldn't imagine, until I look around the 100% stainless steel room, and start to panic sitting on that steel bowl. "Honey? Where's the toilet paper?" Well, at that point after my shock look, we start laughing at this predicament that I'm in. I'm sitting on that bowl, I HAVE to wipe. I just have to. but,... it's not like she could have run back into the car to get a kleenex or anything, or ask my bro to 'slip it under the door' or anything. and If she opened this door to go out of the toilet.... well, it would start to self clean... with me in there. I was trapped. We were trapped. and, you guessed it: time was running out. As this point we roared in laughter... and I was processing in my head.. wtf am I going to do, wtf am I going to do. Luckily, thanks to the fact that I sweat a lot, I just happened to have a washcloth (sometimes I use a bandana) tucked in my pocket. I pulled it out in relief and used it to wipe myself clean. Since then, I tend to carry a roll in my car. __________________ -PapaC aka bootstraptechguy