[Arwen]

Thingie (thengh ee) n. From Basque "obscure"

A thingie is not, as some dear individuals of the butch persuasion seem to believe, a non-item. Thingies are very real.

Thingies are a bit confusing if you are not an individual of the femme persuasion because thingies change.

Often an individual of the femme persuasion is presented with an unfamiliar term such as socket wrench or monkey wrench or phillips head wrench. This causes a misfire in the brain of the individual of the femme persuasion called a "replaceiotis".

This misfire removes all unfamiliar terms and replaces it with the comfort zone word, thingie.

Hence, "Honey hand me that crescent wrench" is better phrased "Honey, hand me that thingy that has the moon thingie on the end." Those individuals of the butch persuasion who comprehend this replacement misfire will find themselves getting exactly what they want.

Now then, when an individual of the butch persuasion is asked, "Sweetheart, have you seen that thingy I need for my hair?" the correct response is, "Baby, your hair looks just fine."

Should the individual of the butch persuasion suspect in any way that the individual of the femme persuasion might be riding the pony soon, the only correct answer is, "Can I get you a glass of wine and some chocolate?"

Any attempts to decipher exactly what thingie the individual of the femme persuasion is seeking at that point could result in the butch losing something he is very attached to--permanently or strapped on.

Note: Stereotypes have been employed to mock. If you are not able to laugh at yourself, please go bye-bye,thanks and have a nice day.