[Ginger]

I'm feeling better. It's been a month since my nephew passed away. It's so quiet without his constant calling to wrangle the next package from me with some silly treat. That little man had a personality that made me laugh out loud and he knew he was loved. The holidays were brutal, a lot of travel, a lot of hard medical decisions. Now I'm back and I've had weekends and nights after work to be in the sanctuary of my apartment and have long talks on the phone with my sister and mom and savor the silence and peace here. I'm being really efficient, which is comforting somehow. I finally replaced the toilet and sink in my bathroom, and finally replaced my eight-year-old tires. I've been too sad to write, though, and that's unusual for me. So this is how I feel: Sad, grateful, a little touchy, very alert, nostalgic, spacey, exhausted, calm, alone, not alone, easily moved to tears by TV shows and in my own little world.