[nycfem]

Ugh, BB and I live right in NYC and I'd say about 1 out of every 20 people we know has COVID-19 or has had it. NY has 160,000 registered cases, the vast majority in NYC. NJ has about 50,000 cases, then 9 states have over 10K cases, and the rest are under 10K. So, it's a really devastating situation here.

Also, at least in NYC, people who go to get tested are almost always turned away unless they present as truly needing to be hospitalized (e.g. delirious with fevers or having much difficulty breathing). Furthermore, since now in NYC most of us know many people who have experienced COVID, it's become standard protocol not to even attempt testing unless hospitalization is needed because of all the exposure hospitalization involves and because there's nothing a hospital can do for COVID unless you need hospitalization.

About 4 weeks ago, when it was starting to become rampant, NYC schools just continued, for at least 2 weeks too long. By the last week, just in my department (all on the same floor) one colleague, who I'd been in meetings with, was hospitalized on a ventilator with a positive diagnosis of COVID. Another had symptoms and went to the ER but was refused testing and returned back to work. Another was exposed to a next door neighbor with COVID and had symptoms and went to the ER and was refused testing and returned to work. One of my students across the hall from me had a parent hospitalized and dying with a collapsed lung from COVID. It was alarming that we were still in school. It was terrifying. Luckily I did not get it.

Then we started working completely remotely. After over two weeks of being 100% indoors one of my friends got it and she was in bed nearly comatose with a fever for twelve days and is now starting to improve. She did not go to the hospital or get tested. Another friend acquired presumed COVID after having spent time at her son's babysitter's house who tested positive. She also never got tested or went to the hospital. Another friend (and everyone I mention is in NYC) tested positive when she was hospitalized for bilateral pneumonia. A number of my students and their families have COVID, including a student's sibling who is only two years old and hospitalized with pneumonia, fever, and difficulty breathing. About once a week I get an email from our synagogue about a zoom funeral service because the member has died of coronavirus. I could go on and on. BB and I don't ever leave home and are constantly cleaning and sterilizing everything. Every day that we wake up without symptoms I'm so relieved. Hearing the sirens day and night is a constant reminder as well. One man in a luxury apartment in NYC who was not sick jumped off his balcony and left a note saying, "Who wants to live this way?" While I would never do that, I can certainly relate to the sense of doom and darkness here. It's silent except for the sirens and every night at 7pm when people across the city all have a moment of drumming and banging on pots and pans and half screaming half hooting from their windows and balconies to cheer on the essential workers and, imo, as a way to come together while grieving and fighting for a better tomorrow that doesn't feel like it's in sight right now.