Satire from the Borowitz Report in the New Yorker...
Susan Collins Concerned That Amy Coney Barrett Too Indecisive.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling the Supreme Court nominee’s testimony “worrisome,” Senator Susan Collins said that she is concerned that Amy Coney Barrett is too indecisive to sit on the nation’s highest court.
“When she was asked a question, she often appeared hesitant, evasive, and wishy-washy,” Collins said. “That’s no way for a person serving in a high government position to behave.”
The Senator from Maine said that Barrett’s dithering verged on being “annoying and even aggravating.”
“The American people deserve decisiveness from their public officials, not relentless shilly-shallying,” Collins said. “This is the sort of vacillating that makes people despise you.”
Asked whether she would ultimately vote to confirm Barrett, Collins waited for a full minute before responding, “I am deeply troubled and concerned by what I have heard from her to date, but would need to hear more before I could come down one way or another on that.”
....
....