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Old 12-18-2020, 05:04 PM   #14683
VintageFemme
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Originally Posted by Cin View Post
Yes, I suppose some people given no other option, would have previously identified as butch but now are able to imagine a truer identity for themselves. Over the past few years there has occurred opportunity for deep internal exploration of gender for a lot of people. Gender studies became the darling of universities giving rise to many thought provoking ideas and lots of writing surrounding gender and personal gender expression. Such discourse has allowed a diverse range of people to explore gender and look inward. It's given many people the language to express who they feel they really are inside. People can embrace identities that feel right for them that were not understood twenty years ago. Non binary, third gender and genderqueer are some of the identities that may be a better fit for many. I do think non binary works well for me, although I still claim my identity as a butch woman. Historically I have struggled identifying as either of the gender options recognized by the majority of society. I am not comfortable with either exclusively. I'm not clear what a blended version of both looks like for me. I cannot let go of a female identity because of my feminist ideology and I am never comfortable with identifying as male because of the patriarchy, the misogynistic world view and the privilege inherent in a male identity. So I flounder a lot. Not exactly sure who I am or what fits for me. I have been most comfortable identifying as a butch woman but over the years I've come to the realization that for me it doesn't matter that much. I am comfortable in my skin even if I'm not sure how to name it.

I often thought of myself as transgender because of my experience of being uncomfortable with society's definition of woman and could not see myself reflected there. But my feelings regarding the transgender community is reminiscent of how some people feel about the lesbian community. They would never identify as a lesbian because of their experience with the community. My experience with the transgender community is similar. Many transgender people insist on referring to butches as cisgendered. While some maybe okay with that I have never felt that worked for me. I struggled too long and too hard internally because my sex and gender did not match and my gender incongruence resulted in many negative experiences for me throughout my life. It's like spitting in my face to call me cisgendered. You shouldn't insist on giving people identities that they do not claim for themselves. This turned me off and made me protect my butch identity even more. At this point in my life I no longer give a fat rat's ass. I am a butch woman who is not cisgendered and is comfortable with a non binary identity.

But the interesting question I ponder often is what has become of the butch-femme dynamic in this brave new world. Gender identities are not sexual orientation. So what does new language for gender, new ways of defining oneself, different boundaries for self identification mean for sexual attraction? As a new generation of queers come of age what will define their attractions? Transgender include all types of sexual orientation so there are some queers in there. Non binary as well and third gender and genderqueer. Will there be a similar dynamic with a different name? Like gender, the boundaries of sexual orientation has expanded exponentially. It's a pretty exciting time to be young and exploring sexuality. I am neither but academically speaking it's interesting to consider.
Well said.

I have always thought that butches were a third gender. To consider that our entire human race is only two genders, as complex and unique as we are, seems somewhat arrogant and yet simplistic. I do believe we are entering a new generation of discovery where not only will multiple genders be realized but that they may be fluid as well. It is indeed a very exciting time to be young and coming into your own. Biases and pegged genders as well as the gay or straight sexuality trap, are becoming archaic ways of thinking.
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