[AtLast]

Originally Posted by Martina

i have strong feelings about this even though i have not had a child. i have been dissed on a couple of threads for suggesting that not every parent can have it all -- the career they want and being a good parent. It doesn't always work that way even if it should.

Anyway. Most places in the world, women do not have the choice to not have children. That's a given. That's wrong. BUT it's a separate issue.

Once someone has a child, that is, in my opinion, something to be respected, valued, and supported. If i err, it's on the side of romanticizing the work of parenting and the connection between parent and child. i can not see any excuse for ever denigrating it. It needs to be more respected, more valued in our culture and around the world. Liberation for women is not gotten through undervaluing how most women spend their time.

Most women, no matter how poor, sick, or oppressed, find ways to parent well and have rich and meaningful connections with their children. They invest their lives in their children. Whether they should have had to get pregnant or not, that investment deserves respect. Huge amounts of respect.

i do not think girls should be taught not to want to parent, not to value parenting as a life goal. i think boys should be taught to be more invested in parenting, to think of it as something they should prepare for and imagine and dream of.

People are always going to have babies, and it will be a decades or longer -- probably much longer -- before women on this planet always do so voluntarily.

But devaluing their contributions is devaluing their lives. However else they might have chosen to live, being a mom is the life most are leading. And it's hugely valuable.

To me, it's sacred. However a child came into this world, once she is here, the world must welcome her and honor those who guide her along her way.

Have to add, no matter how one becomes a parent, it is sacred. Also, there are women that had to make very difficult and heart breaking choices about their ability to parent a child, yet, have them in their heart each and every day.