[SassyLeo]

In the 80's/90's when my dad came out in SF, breeder was a word I heard ALL THE TIME. Not specifically in company of family or friends (though I am sure it happened) but just out in the world. Especially in the Castro on days when a demonstration was taking place on the corner or during Pride. Again, this was 15 to 20 years ago. Even though I was a teenager at the time, I knew what it meant and that it was used as a derogatory term aimed at someone who had just said something homophobic or in "gay boy talk" as I call it or caddy, gossipy talk - (again years ago...)

I do not use the word and rarely hear it these days in my world. I have never heard the word being used in a positive way.

In terms of women being bred to have children, I agree with the history of patriarchy in the world...in old traditional, religious cultures, women get married and have children. It is what they believe women are "to do". This is a -generalization-. I'm not saying all women are this way and all cultures are this way, etc.

The last century has changed and shifted what women's roles are, specifically in more lieberal countries, obviously. I think women are raised to make their own choices about children. We are not forced to have them. We also can have them without a husband or partner. We can adopt. We have choices.

My parents had very traditional and incredibly dysfunctional and mostly pretty crappy upbringings and they set out to do pretty much the exact opposite with me.

I decided many years ago that I did not want to have children. A personal choice. I've always been upfront with my parents about not wanting children of my own and they support me either way. I NEVER felt pressure to get married, not get married, have kids, not have kids, I've always been told I have choices.

Of course, my parents are queer...so I realize I am kind of an anomaly

And I have friends who have children and I think it is wonderful! I admire their love and dedication. I love being a pseudo auntie. I watched one of my best friends through her pregnancy and birth of her daughter. It was amazing. And if someone had deemed her a breeder from that incredible experience... well, that's awful.

Of course, when my grandfather died a couple of years ago, I went with my parents to his funeral with a ton of family I hadn't seen in years. One of the first things out of my 78 year old great-uncle's mouth was: 'hey you are the last of the <family name>; how old are you honey? thinking about kids anytime soon?'