Quote:
Originally Posted by AtLastHome
Yeah! Right on! Any pup crush is a grand crush!! That's what my Frog Dog says! But, 'cept he thinks maybe his old dawgg Mom just doesn't have it anymore.... Hummm, cookie protest? Must be the fedora...
And this would be his Holiday hat!
|
And just what does that mean, that little admission in the middle of "cute dog" remarks? You wanted to get a discussion going, I'm all up for discussion AtHomeLast....... so let us discuss....... what exactly are you saying here? I'm sensing that you may be feeling that you are "not all that", what is the "not all that" you are feeling? You are among anonymous online peeps here, we are just words on a screen, spit it out..... I'm notorious for doing that.....please feel free to join me......
Okay, I'll start. I decided last night to go to a local hangout for the Glbt community. Yes, i was nervous, i've been out the loop for a very very long time...... I stepped out of my usual comfort zone, and after trying my darndest for 2 hours, finally had to come to the conclusion, that single women, are not welcome in those venues.....All the women were paired up with butches, and made sure i knew that i was trespassing and getting too close to "their butch", all i did was ask if i could use one of the spare stools at their table that was not being used...., I needed to sit down, because of health issues......only young gay men said hello to me, and asked if i was having fun......i of course smiled my "thank you for asking smile" and said yes, and said "thanks for asking". The handsome male bartender bought my diet soda for me, cause i don't drink.
So I'm feeling that "I'm not all that" this morning, i managed not to cry when i got home, that's a first, but i'm sitting here re-evaluating what am i going to do with this information, the fact that single femmes are not welcome in places "reserved for couples and pre-established groups".
So now i'm back to, if I'm not welcome, how am i supposed to develop a network of butch and femme friends to hang with, have bbq parties, go camping, fishing, day trips, movies, baseball games, soccer games, get together on Sunday and have breakfast and shoot the breeze?......
So does this mean, that my ex is right? No one will ever love me? That my life as a partner is over? Life will continue to over look my rich personal history of loving and caring for others? That when my laugh lines became a permanent fixture on my face, the party was over? That my heavy breasts that fed two children are not worthy of attention? That my perfect size 6 firm hot body at 20 is the only thing i had going for me? My wit and humor and compassion for others means nothing? My cooking skills and gift for making you feel like a king are just gonna blow in the breeze, like fall leaves?
Good grief. After spending a life time developing my self into someone I can be proud of, this is all that awaits me?
Ya, l guess this is just rhetorical again this morning.... seems no one wants to really get into how they "really feel", i am just going to resign my self to the rest of the nameless faceless online fantasy world and stick to the fluff topics..... cause that's the only 'real' things worthy of discussion.