[Jett]

I would be more suspect, even if the cis het man said he was exploring (questioning) his cis het male status and it would have zero to do with "who's welcome here" or not.

I don't like that it's that way but considering the history of online sexual predators of which the vast majority are male (I think it's like 99% but know it's like upper 90th percentile), coupled with men who find lesbianism, or female queers arousing, add the plethora of porn available depicting the rapes of lesbians and the history of violence against women by males... etc. etc. etc. I believe there's adequate well documented reasons for more concern as to why a cis het male would be cruising for these sites.

I think it would be a bad idea for us to just put our guard down and swing our arms open and hey, meet ya for coffee type interaction we more normally are able to enjoy with each other.

If he did say he was questioning I would absolutely be welcoming, but I would be have a good deal of caution in my mind whether I like it or not. The society we live in has shown extremely clearly over and over why we should be more cautious of men, as a female, than I would around other females.

It's unfortunate yes, especially if he's really questioning, It's not pretty but I don't think it's sexist, we're not responsible for that type of reaction to the situation. Other men who've perpetuated the violence and created that history and hence ingrained reaction are responsible.