[GeorgiaMa'am]

Inadequate. I'm staying with my Mom for 5 days, and her dementia has worsened so much. I'm at my sister's house because that's where my Mom lives now. My sister and her husband desperately wanted to go on a vacation with some of their friends, and asked me weeks ago if I could stay. I was happy to say yes. Then one day before I'm supposed to arrive (yesterday) my sister called and described our Mom's condition.

Essentially, Mom has become more emotional, more prone to wander, and physically combative. One day recently she went for a walk down a major highway (this makes 4 times she has done this now). When her daytime caregiver went after her, my Mom slapped her and bit her and told her to leave her alone. The caregiver had to call the police to come pick her up and take her back home. By the time my Sister arrived on the scene, our Mom was screaming about not wanting to live here, and how nobody in the family wanted her here.

My sister called me one day before I was to arrive to tell me this. She also admitted that she only told me because my BIL told her she really ought to, and advocated for me that I would need this information to adequately care for Mom.

My Sister also told me she had called the doctor yesterday and he had prescribed Seroquel to help Mom sleep better and hopefully alleviate some of her symptoms. So here I am, supposedly taking care of my Mom, who is rapidly declining, and who is taking a new drug that nobody knows yet how it will affect her.

Personally, I think my Sister should have canceled her trip. If she's going to keep Mom at home, she's going to have to sacrifice more of her time and money to do it. At least she should have stayed while Mom is getting used to her new medication. There is no physical way I can chase my Mom down the highway if she should take off again. I pointed this out to my sister and asked her what I should do if it happens, and she said to call 911. I feel that is an inadequate first line of action.

I told my Sister that I feel uncomfortable but that I would still stay with Mom. My Sister does so much to take care of our Mom, and there is very little I can do to help. I also know my Sister really needs some time away with her husband and friends.

So here I am, feeling inadequate and hyper vigilant. I am thanking the Goddess that there is supposed to be a huge rain storm all day tomorrow, because I think it will deter my Mom from going outside. If I can keep her interested in helping me cook and watching TV for just a few days, I will make it through.

Please light a candle for us and/or send us your good thoughts and wishes. Thanks Peeps.